Little Jack’s Corner

I just realized that we’ve reached the double digits in our countdown to the birth.  We now have less than 100 days to go before his May 6 due date! 

It’s a good thing too.   I can’t wait to be able to hold him in my arms, rock him, sing to him, read to him and just stare at him.  It already feels like I’ve been pregnant my entire life.  Whew.   By some huge twist of fate, I was denied the pleasures of first trimester nausea and hanging my head in the toilet.  Is it bad that I wished that I could have experienced it just once?  For the longest time I didn’t even “feel” pregnant.  I had no signs or symptoms for months other than an expanding heiny region and sheer tiredness.  Many times I even completely forgot I was pregnant (bad mommy).

Having reached my 6th month, however, I am finally enjoying “feeling pregnant”.  Although, “enjoying” may not be the right word for it.  It’s more akin to ”I’m plodding-helplessly-through-painful-kicking” feeling of being pregnant.  Thankfully he hasn’t decided to dig for intestinal gold with his feet since last Tuesday!  I’m not sure if I could handle too many days like that.

Now that I consider it, maybe I am thankful I bypassed the first trimester barfing.

February is fast approaching.  Everyone told me that once you get on into the pregnancy it begins to fly by - and I’m starting to believe it.  It seems like Christmas was just a few days ago.   So now all I have left to go is February, March, and April….

(On a side note, I’m sitting in the living room recliner, working on my laptop.  My dog, PupPup just tippy-toed past me with his head hunkered down.  I knew he was up to something!  I said his name and he turned towards me with a huge roll of toilet paper in his mouth.  Thankfully he knows what “Uh, put that down” means.  He’s trying to make up for it by slathering my bare feet with kisses.  Silly PupPup.)

…..so…ok… February, March, & April are now the only months left before our lives change so dramatically that neither of us can fathom it at this time.  We will forever be responsible for the little human that comes home to live with us from that big ol’ brick hospital.

And we’re both so excited about it that we can hardly contain ourselves! 

It occured to me for the first time today that I’ll be able to hold, snuggle, and spoil this little baby to my hearts content and no one can stop me.  I won’t have to ever put him down if I don’t want to.  He’ll be 100% mine.  (Yeh, yeh, my husband’s too…but I’m talking from a pure mommy perspective right now).

I think about all the mothers out there who (cruelly) abandon or murder their children.  Then I think about all the women out there who’s deepest longing is to have their own children.  And it just makes me want to cry.  How in the world can someone hurt a helpless baby?  Or look into the eyes of a toddler while they’re drowning?  Or listen to the screams of a child in pain….. and not feel an overwhelming desire to STOP what they’re doing to them?  Lawyers can come up with defenses (”excuses”) for these people if they want, but for me, I’ll never feel any empathy - or pity - on someone who intentionally hurts a child.