Thank you all for the well wishes and congratulations on my last post about baby #2!

We’re definitely excited.  My first doctor’s appointment isn’t until October 6, so I don’t have an official due date yet.  Sometime next May seems to be a good guesstimate though, as we first learned about the pregnancy with Jack-Evan in early September as well (2007).  My LMP this time was in early August (it was July 31 with Jack).  So the timing is exactly the same from what I can tell.

By the time this baby arrives, Jack-Evan will be 24 months old.  Two years feel like a perfect age gap for siblings!  It’s what we’ve always wanted for our kids, although we’ve never “planned” it that way.  We just let what happens, happen.  So far, it’s happening nicely.

How it happened?  (Oh no, not that!)   What I mean, see, we left for Upstate New York on Sept. 9 for a week visit with my husband’s family.  I knew then that I was *almost* late, and I had the strange feeling that I might be pregnant.  I let Kevin in on it a day or so before we returned to South Carolina.  Well, *it* never came, and by the time we finished the 20 hour car trip back home on Tuesday, Sept. 15, we were so anxious that Kevin headed to Walgreens that night to pick up a pregnancy test (at 9:30 nonetheless!  Bless his heart!).

Well, Kevin started some popcorn whilst I took the test (with Jack-Evan playing at my feet, of course.  No privacy for poor Mommy.)

One blue line appeared immediately, but the next line didn’t show up.  My heart sunk.  (Kerplunk).  Oh well.  Not pregnant, I thought. No big deal, right? (Wrong, I was devastated)

I put the test down, stood up, sighed, casually picked up the box and noticed that the line that had appeared immediately was the “yes, my dear, you definitely are pregnant” line.  I grabbed the test, and ‘shore nuff, the 2nd “control” line was now coming in strong.

I seriously started shaking.  I mean, 23 seconds ago I was disappointed that I wasn’t pregnant.  Now that I WAS, here I am, shaking in fear like a leaf in October.  I yelled out to Kevin, “Are you watching wrestling???” (a throw back to what he was doing the night I told him about the pregnancy with our #1,  Jack-Evan).  He said, “Ummm…nooo.” Then he ran into the bathroom and asked “Why???”.  I silently showed him the test.  Of course his next words were “Are you sure?!”   Then he started sniffling his nice, sweet man-tears.  He was crying and I was scared to death.

He was far more excited than I was at that moment.  And I wasn’t quite sure how to articulate anything I was feeling to him.

I’m not sure why fear gripped me so hard during those few seconds.  I suppose it was the shock.  Well, “shock” not in a sense that I wasn’t expecting the outcome (I was and had thought so for a week), but “shock” as in “Wow, this IS reality and my life is about to change yet again.”  The deep fear, I suppose, may have also come from the fact that since this is my 2nd time around, I KNOW all of the pain I will endure and the trials.  My fears during pregnancy #1 were mainly shadow fears, the kind where I was so new at it that once something happened, it was over and done with. I could easily pass off all of those fears as pretty much “unfounded” for the most part.  But now, I DO know how terrible contractions & labor & crowning feels.  I DO know how my body may be reacting throughout this pregnancy.  And now I have 8 months in which to anticipate everything I KNOW will happen.  Tiredness, numerous needle pokes, mind-numbing doctor visits, and excrutiating pain – it’s all very real, and the memories of my last pregnancy woes all came crashing down on my harder than a kamikaze fighter.

Also, the thought of change was part of it too.  Here we are, settled into our routines.  Jack-Evan is my little star, my main squeeze, my little hambone that makes me laugh during the quieter moments when he’s not erupting into one of his famous temper tantrums.  He’s my little poopie head, you know.  My “Tooter” (as we usually call him! He answers to that better than “Jack”!).  Having another child is not just something that is a part of mine and Kevin’s life – it will also change Jack’s life forever.  Our decision to expand our family will impact him, and he doesn’t even know it yet.  His life will change.  Our lives will change.  Routines will change.  We will have to yet again find a new “normal”.

So anyway, the reaction I had that night was so deep that Kevin even half-jokingly accused me of not being excited and happy.  Perhaps it was the look of blatant fear in my eyes? Or maybe it was because I wasn’t joining him in the happy dance he was doing with Jack-Evan.  I was just standing there, frozen, with a bajillion thoughts erupting in my mind.  Of course I was excited…. in my head.  In my head, I desparately wanted another child.  Being an “only child” (and hating it my whole life!), my highest goal in family planning was to have at least 4 children.  But my logical thoughts and dreams for the future took backseat to the terribly deep feelings of dread that my body dived into that night.   It was just pure, raw emotion that swept over me.  I would have never ever expected to feel that way!  And I’m almost ashamed to admit it for fear that I would be perceived as a terrible mother!  I mean, only mothers who hate children and never want more, feel their hearts sink to China upon learning of another pregnancy…..right?  Well, at least that’s what I’ve always figured.  But nonetheless, that’s what happened to me.  I mean, I know the flip side of pregnancy too – the outcome, the beautiful baby awaiting me in the end, the joyous feelings of seeing new life arrive.  So how can I explain my primortal reaction?  I can’t.

In the week since learning of the new baby though, those initial feelings have subsided, and have been replaced by the typical excitement that washes over expectant moms.  I’ve once again found myself stopping on TLC when I catch a sniff of “A Baby Story” wafting by the airwaves.  And once again, I found my buggy pulling me haphazardly towards the pretty pink (or blue?) baby outfits that are just oooohhh so darling.   I’ve also been cleaning like mad the past few days!  Just today I shipped 4 big bags full of stuff to the Goodwill.  We’re clearning out our guest room (more like “junk” room!) to make way for either a nursery for a girl or a play room for Jack (if we have another boy).

As for prenatal care this time…..  With my 1st pregnancy, I was quite naive.  Back then, I started out the 9 month journey with the assumption that doctors knew best.  I ended with the knowledge that if you do not take control of your own pregnancy, things can (and will) turn out quite unpleasant.  So this time around, I have decided to utilize our state’s only natural “birthing center” and a midwife.  (My unpleasant experiences with prenatal care during my 1st pregnancy will probably come out in future posts, so I’ll save my ranting and raving for then.)  I’m not sure yet if I want to go with natural / waterbirth (something the center offers) or epidural at the hospital next door with this one yet, but at least I’ll have the option of what I want to do.  This time I KNOW I will be “in control”.  And that means a lot to me – expecially after having the doctor try to force pitocin into me to speed up labor at 8 CM dialated – when I did NOT need it.

Anyway, thanks again for all the well wishes!  It’s great to see I still have some loyal reader friends here.  I must be going now though.  I’m quite nauseated and dizzy….. unlike my 1st pregnancy (where the sickness totally passed me by), I have experienced morning-sickness-at-night for the past 2 weeks!  Tonight seems to be the worst.  Guess that’s what I get for staying up after midnight though, I suppose.

Related Posts

• Little Jack’s BIG Announcement (7)
• We’re off to the Humane Society (2)
• The Best Part about Election Day (0)

Overalls are my favorite kidswear to put Jack-Evan in.  
Too bad they’re much to hot for our South Carolina summers!

Related Posts

• Baby #2 – 1 Month Pregnant & How It All Came About (5)
• More Hard-Earned Lessons from Selling on Ebay (4)
• 5 Top Lessons Learned From Selling Clothes on Ebay (1)

Whew…

Yesterday, Kevin and I took on the massive job of getting up ALL the leaves in our yard. We live next to woods, have an oak tree in our back yard, and have 2 ornamental trees in the front yard…and ALL the leaves have fallen off of them. I guess they were up to my knees. Or well, it seemed that way!

Luckily we have 2 leaf blowers, but it still was a huge job. We were out there from 12 pm till 4:30 yesterday, with Jack-Evan playing on a large blanket. The piles are HUGE out back! I’m tempted to jump in them if I could forget about some of the creepy crawlies that I saw whilst blowing the leaves away.

Today we did the front and it took from 11:30 till 1:30. The leaves in the front, we were able to blow them out to the side of the street where the town leaf collector will come along with the machine and suck them up. So those are taken care of. And now all that’s left are the massive piles of leaves out back. And I am completely pooped and my hands hurt terribly. I’m sure I’ll have blisters on them within a few hours from holding up the blower so long (we have a little rope thing to hold it with because the handle broke).

But the whole yard sure does look terrific.

Would you believe that I did the yard work in a tank top and shorts? Yep. It’s that hot here in South Carolina right now. Only a week before Christmas and it’s almost summer-like with this heat wave that’s come through. I had the air condition on 72 just the other night because we were sweltering in the house! Where is the cold weather? So much for dreaming of a white Christmas, huh?

Anyway, we’re about to head out to go bowling with my cousins Nathan & Dylan and their girlfriends. Then we’ll probably come back and work some more in the yard. Kevin wants to get the Christmas lights on the house finished! The neighbors have us beat completely – they have 5-6 of those huge blow up Santas and Snowmen and other characters out front. All we’ve done outside so far for decoration was to hang a wreath on the door.

Related Posts

• Baby #2 – 1 Month Pregnant & How It All Came About (5)
• My Little Farmer Boy (0)
• Hello, hello hello again! (0)

Kevin worked til 5:30 pm today, and with a 30 minute drive
to get home, we were in a rush to get our vote in before
the South Carolina poles closed at 7:00 pm.
Thankfully, with Ribs cookin’ in the crockpot, dinner wasn’t an issue.
Once Kevin was home, we packed up and
headed over to my parents house.

My parents had voted earlier today, so they promised to watch
Jack-Evan as Kevin and I went to vote.

So…we quickly passed off the baby, a jar of baby food, and
a sippy cup of mommy milk, and headed out the door.

It was soooo dark already.  We’re still not use to the time change! 
There were reports of lines 3-4 hours long earlier
today in our area, but thankfully those seemed to
have disappeared by the time we arrived at our district’s pole.
A few of our local politicians were at the doors making
last ditch efforts polite conversation as we entered.

There were 5 voting booths set up (all of which were filled),
and only 3 people ahead of us. 
We moved pretty fast into our stations too,
and before I knew it, I had hit the “confirm” button
finishing up my own vote. 
With pride, I smiled at Kevin as we walked out the door. 

Sans-baby, we headed off for our first bit of
alone time in 6 months to get some
FREE coffee from Starbucks and a
FREE election doughnut from Krispe Kreme.
Everyone who showed them their “I Voted” sticker
received the free treats.

Yet, the best part wasn’t the yummy doughnut or the hot coffee.
Nor was it knowing we had just taken part in a grand election.
Nor was it the knowledge that history was
about to be made in our great country.

No.  The best part of the day was sitting there with my husband,
laughing my tail off as we slugged down caffeine and dined on sugar.

Regardless of who our president is or how our next four years play out,
the best part of life is being with the people we love – those who we interact
with day to day and would give our life for. 

In the end, that’s all that matters.

Related Posts

• Baby #2 – 1 Month Pregnant & How It All Came About (5)
• My First Halloween (0)
• What Your Parents Don’t Know (0)