Little Jack's CornerThe Life & Times of Jack-Evan and Family

I just began reading books on Maria Montessori’s early childhood theories and I find (most of) them fascinating!  I have a huge stack by my bed right now, and just finished one book that focused on birth to 3 years old.  I really wish I would have read it before Jack-Evan was born.   There are so many things I’ve never thought of in there…things that’s just never crossed my mind to say/do/have available for & with Jack.

For those of you who may be unfamiliar, Maria Montessori was a doctor in Italy who studied hundreds of children a little over 100 years ago.  Today, there are many associations and schools around the world dedicated to her model of educating children – a model which looks completely different than today’s educational system structure.  In the montessori structure of education, the goal is for children to learn to reason things out, build steady foundations for how the world works, and to go about their education independently.  The teacher’s primary goal is not to pour in knowledge, but to structure the child’s environment in a prepared way so that the child will gravitate towards the knowledge he/she needs to learn at that particular time.  Minimalistic, child-sized, clean, high quality all seem to describe the rich environment in which children under this educational model will do best.

I have begun implementing a few of her ideas with Jack-Evan over the past week and have already noticed a difference in his attitude, concentration, and enjoyment of daily activities.  The very first thing I started with was condensing his toys down tremendously.   We have a play room in the works for him, but it’ll be a couple months before he can really enjoy himself in there, so for now I have his bedroom to work with.   The toys you see him in front of in this photo are the only ones available in his room.  I condensed his leggos, stored other toys out of sight, and gave away a huge bag full of ones he never truly cared about.  Contrary to the pull of modern day “More is Better!” school of thought, I’ve noticed that he absolutely loves spending time in his bedroom now and playing with the selection available.  He has also discovered a love of miniture animals and building blocks for the first time.  This is quite a change considering he has never, ever, ever been a “toy” kid.  Perhaps what he really was trying to tell me all these months is simply he wasn’t interested in “clutter”.

Another Montessori activity I implemented is in an area they call “Practical Life Skills” (something I knew he needed but never thought to take it to the level they do).  A few days ago I found a really nice wooden child sized table at a local children’s thrift store, painted it, and introduced it to Jack-Evan.  He adores it!  The next day I introduced him to the  motessori method of setting the table by himself as well as pouring his own milk (provided to him in a child-size measuring cup).  He loves the little miniature coca cola glass I found at the dollar store!  We’ve never given him an open glass to use on his own because I guess we never thought he could and that one day he would just grow into it.   A photo of a 9 month old baby using an open glass properly, without spilling it, convinced me that Jack-Evan has the ability to do this – I just have to find it within myself to take the time with him so he can learn!  I’ve just always found it easy to hold open containers for him, to only allow him to hold them for a few seconds, or to just give him a lidded container.

It was a huge eye opener for me to realize this.  My little man has so much inside him that he can do, yet here I am not showing enough confidence in him….and subconsciously holding him back by not allowing him to develop those simple needed skills.   He’s had 3 meals so far in which he was allowed to use his little glass and pour his own milk – and while we did have spills each time, I could tell he was extremely proud of himself for being allowed that measure of independence!

I’ve also introduced him to the potty, begun letting him dress himself as much as he is able and lowered his closet rod to a level he can reach easily (no higher than his chin).  I’ve also forced myself to be consciously aware of how I treat him.  Am I treating him as a real human who needs time to learn? Am I treating him with the respect deserved of another living, breathing human being?  Or am I treating him like my tiny helpless baby, with baby talk, simple sentences, and a “don’t touch that!” approach?  Am I focusing on hurrying towards the end result (to be dressed) or am I focusing on teaching Jack-Evan the skills  needed in life (dressing oneself), regardless of how long it takes?

When I think in those terms, I find my behavior and attitudes towards him change immensely.  When I remind myself of how much knowledge  about life I take for granted, versus his small, 20 month experience on this earth, I find it easier to back up, take a breath, and focus on teaching him the skills he needs without feeling annoying and wanting to just get it all “done”.

As one portion of the Montessori theory expressed, he’s not a ragdoll to be dressed, coddled and controlled.  He is another growing, living, breathing human being and has an inner drive to participate in our human world.  He wants desperately to learn about life and participate proudly in daily “adult” activities.  Of course I *knew* all of this in my head, but as a parent, it’s hard to cross that hump between doing FOR our tiny ones and allowing them to learn the skills they need to do it themselves.  I guess a huge part of it also has to do with our own human selfishness – it takes a lot of time and effort to train a child in various life skills….weeks…months…years…and we tend to put it off as long as possible thinking that it will be “easier when he’s older”.  That kind of thinking can eventually cripple a growing little person.

Anyway, I’ve subscribed to many blogs lately that revolve around parents who practice the montessori theories at home.  It’s quite refreshing from the busy’ness promoted in today’s commercially manufactured idea of childhood!  I doubt I ever get as deep into it as some of the families out there seem to be, but I do feel it is well worth delving into and implementing many  strategies into our own home life.