(Voiced by 26 month old Jack-Evan, typed by Mommy)
It took me 10 whole minutes to get my plate arranged this beautifully!
I did it all by myself, so please bare with me as I gloat.
Love, Jack-Evan
P.S. It was such a lovely looking plate that I couldn’t bare to destroy it,
so promptly after finishing the arrangement I screamed for my ice cream cone.
(Voiced by 26 month old Jack-Evan, typed by Mommy)
Step 1. Grab his tie when he isn’t looking. Pretend that you aren’t looking either.
Step 2: When he does look, don’t let go.
Step 3: If he begins to choke…hang on tight, because it means you’ve almost caught him.
Step 4: Hurray! You caught him! Now you can claim him as your very own.
Love, Jack-Evan
P.S. This is MY papa. NOT yours. I caught him. You didn’t.
He’s MINE. You can’t have him.
(Voiced by a then-24-month-old Jack-Evan, typed now by Mommy)
……
Dear Everyone,
I would really appreciate if someone would loan my mommy $8 for the barber shop because I really don’t want to spend my life looking like this. After all, I have a reputation to build and older girls to catch.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Jack-Evan
P.S. Please don’t tell my mommy. I love my mommy. Put the $8 in an unmarked unanimous envelope and slip it to me under my nursery door. I will then pretend I found it and then pretend to be interested in a barbershop the next time we pass one.
P.S.S. If someone could send me a picture of a barber shop so I’ll know it when I see it, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks.
P.S.S.S. Don’t tell mommy.
(Voiced by 26 month old Jack-Evan, typed by Mommy)
Once upon a time, my mommy told me that she didn’t like diapers anymore.
So she taught me how to use a big bowl that she calls a potty.
(Potty sounds so unsophisticated, but I’m sure she knows what she’s talking about. After all, she is mommy.)
Well, If you can remember, a couple years ago I headed a large duck rescue mission.
In my excitement of learning to use the adult contraption called a “potty” I realized
I could liberate my ducky friends even more by teaching them this cool new skill….
Everything was going just fine until my mommy walked in.
Maybe I should have asked her first?
(Voiced by 16 month old Jack-Evan, Typed by Mommy)
Once upon a time I wasn’t here.
Then suddenly……. here I was.
Before I knew it, a whole year had passed and I had learned so much about this big, wide world.
Now I have to pass along all of my knowledge to someone else…
….because that’s just what big brothers do, I suppose.
(Press play on the video above before continuing!)
————————————————–
(Sung by 13 Month old Jack-Evan, Typed by Mommy)
I’ve been walkin’ these streets so long
Singin’ the same old song
I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of Broadway
Where hustle’s the name of the game
And nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rain
There’s been a load of compromisin’
On the road to my horizon
But I’m gonna be where the lights are shinin’ on me!
Like a rhinestone baby
Riding out on a steed in a rocky-horse rodeo
Like a rhinestone baby
Getting cards and letters from people I don’t even know
…..and offers comin’ over the phone!
Well, I really don’t mind the rain
And a smile can hide all the pain
But you’re down when you’re ridin’ the train that’s takin’ the long way
And I dream of the things I’ll do
With a subway token and a dollar tucked inside my shoe
There’ll be a load of compromisin’
On the road to my horizon
But I’m gonna be where the lights are shinin’ on me
Like a rhinestone baby
Riding out on a steed in a rocky-horse rodeo
Rhinestone baby….
Gettin’ cards and letters from people I don’t even know
And offers comin’ over the phone!
(Voiced by 13 month old Jack-Evan, typed by Mommy)
Once upon a time, on June 2, I planted some magic beans.
After 5 days of waiting, they still were not tall enough to climb.
So, last night, mommy broke the sad news that there was no such thing as a magic bean stalk.
But I think she must have lied to me….
…because look at them today!
At this rate, I’ll be able to climb to the clouds by next Friday.
Won’t mommy be so excited when I bring her back a goose?
—————————————-
TO BE CONTINUED….
(Voiced by 13 month old Jack-Evan, typed by Mommy)
Once upon a time, I found some beans.
I stuck them in some dirt so the birds wouldn’t eat them.
Plus, I had heard some great stories about what happens when you plant magical beans!
I cried when I couldn’t find my beanstalk the next morning.
Mommy mentioned I should probably water them or they will die like hers do.
Finally, on day 5…. my magic beanstalk appeared!
It wasn’t quite what I expected though.
Perhaps tomorrow, it will be tall enough to climb on?
THE END.
(Voiced by 13 month old Jack-Evan, and typed by Mommy)
Once upon a time we had an old shabby brown house.
It was quite boring until….
I told my daddy to paint it!
Because he loves me, he started right away.
And of course I sat nearby and supervised.
When Daddy got tired, I even stepped in to give him a hand.
Up we goooo…
Don’t worry Dad.
I’ve got it alllllll under control!
…..
TO BE CONTINUED…
(Voiced by the now 1 year old Little Jack, yet still typed by Mommy)
Once upon a time, I had to take a bath.
Mommy said it was so I would smell good for everyone at the party.
Turns out, I wasn’t the only thing that smelled good!
As we waited for everyone to show up….
Daddy headed to the store to pick up more Pepsi and my great Aunt Faye took over grilling!
Music was playing, people were taking pictures left and right….
…and everyone was just kicked back, having a great time.
(I’m glad they all had such a good time. I, however, was much too sleepy)
Here is my girlfriend mommy’s friend’s daughter, Alyse.
(Don’t tell her, but I think she’s cute.)
I even tried to show her how capable I am by providing her with food.
Then I had to concentrate on my own dessert.
(Oh…my bad….did you want some cake too?)
After throwing all my cake on the floor eating my dessert, mommy opened my presents.
I always thought it was I who was supposed to open my gifts,
but I didn’t really have the heart to take the fun away from mommy.
All in all, I had a fabulous day.
(And 4 more baths that evening.)
—–
THE END.
© 2012. Little Jack's Corner.
