Posts Tagged: Little Jack Speaks


20
Aug 10

Beautifying Your Lunch, Toddler Style

(Voiced by 26 month old Jack-Evan, typed by Mommy)

It took me 10 whole minutes to get my plate arranged this beautifully!

I did it all by myself, so please bare with me as I gloat.

Love, Jack-Evan

P.S.  It was such a lovely looking plate that I couldn’t bare to destroy it,
so promptly after finishing the arrangement I screamed for my ice cream cone.


10
Aug 10

How to Catch a Papa

(Voiced by 26 month old Jack-Evan, typed by Mommy)

Step 1. Grab his tie when he isn’t looking.  Pretend that you aren’t looking either.

Step 2: When he does look, don’t let go.

Step 3: If he begins to choke…hang on tight, because it means you’ve almost caught him.

Step 4:   Hurray!  You caught him!  Now you can claim him as your very own.

Love, Jack-Evan

P.S.  This is MY papa.  NOT yours.  I caught him.  You didn’t.
He’s MINE.  You can’t have him.


1
Aug 10

My Mommy, the (Terrible) Hairstylist

(Voiced by a then-24-month-old Jack-Evan, typed now by Mommy)

……

Dear Everyone,

I would really appreciate if someone would loan my mommy $8 for the barber shop because I really don’t want to spend my life looking like this.  After all, I have a reputation to build and older girls to catch.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Jack-Evan

P.S.  Please don’t tell my mommy.  I love my mommy.  Put the $8 in an unmarked unanimous envelope and slip it to me under my nursery door.  I will then pretend I found it and then pretend to be interested in a barbershop the next time we pass one.

P.S.S.  If someone could send me a picture of a barber shop so I’ll know it when I see it, I would greatly appreciate it.  Thanks.

P.S.S.S.  Don’t tell mommy.


18
Jul 10

How to Potty Train Your Duck

(Voiced by 26 month old Jack-Evan, typed by Mommy)

Once upon a time, my mommy told me that she didn’t like diapers anymore.

So she taught me how to use a big bowl that she calls a potty.

(Potty sounds so unsophisticated, but I’m sure she knows what she’s talking about.  After all, she is mommy.)

Well, If you can remember, a couple years ago I headed a large duck rescue mission.

100_2304_2 by you.

In my excitement of learning to use the adult contraption called a “potty” I realized
I could liberate my ducky friends even more by teaching them this cool new skill….

Everything was going just fine until my mommy walked in.

Maybe I should have asked her first?


17
Sep 09

Little Jack’s BIG Announcement

(Voiced by 16 month old Jack-Evan, Typed by Mommy)

Waiting...

Once upon a time I wasn’t here.

Then suddenly……. here I was.

Before I knew it, a whole year had passed and I had learned so much about this big, wide world.

Now I have to pass along all of my knowledge to someone else…

….because that’s just what big brothers do, I suppose.


13
Jun 09

The Rhinestone Baby


(Press play on the video above before continuing!)
————————————————–

(Sung by 13 Month old Jack-Evan, Typed by Mommy)

June 2009 by you.

I’ve been walkin’ these streets so long
Singin’ the same old song

June 2009 by you.
I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of Broadway
Where hustle’s the name of the game
And nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rain

June 2009 by you.

There’s been a load of compromisin’
On the road to my horizon

June 2009 by you.

But I’m gonna be where the lights are shinin’ on me!

My Little Cowboy by you.

Like a rhinestone baby
Riding out on a steed in a rocky-horse rodeo

My Little Cowboy by you.

Like a rhinestone baby
Getting cards and letters from people I don’t even know

My Little Cowboy by you.

…..and offers comin’ over the phone!

My Little Cowboy by you.

Well, I really don’t mind the rain
And a smile can hide all the pain

My Little Cowboy by you.

But you’re down when you’re ridin’ the train that’s takin’ the long way
And I dream of the things I’ll do
With a subway token and a dollar tucked inside my shoe

My Little Cowboy by you.

There’ll be a load of compromisin’
On the road to my horizon

My Little Cowboy by you.

But I’m gonna be where the lights are shinin’ on me

My Little Cowboy by you.

Like a rhinestone baby
Riding out on a steed in a rocky-horse rodeo

My Little Cowboy by you.

Rhinestone baby….
Gettin’ cards and letters from people I don’t even know

June 2009 by you.

And offers comin’ over the phone!


9
Jun 09

Jack and the Not-So-Tiny Bean Stalk

(Voiced by 13 month old Jack-Evan, typed by Mommy)

Out in the Yard by you.

Once upon a time, on June 2, I planted some magic beans.

Out in the Yard by you.

After 5 days of waiting, they still were not tall enough to climb.

Out in the Yard by you.

So, last night, mommy broke the sad news that there was no such thing as a magic bean stalk.

DSC03815 by you.

But I think she must have lied to me….

DSC03812 by you.

…because look at them today!

DSC03814 by you.

At this rate, I’ll be able to climb to the clouds by next Friday.

DSC03823 by you.

Won’t mommy be so excited when I bring her back a goose?

—————————————-

TO BE CONTINUED….


8
Jun 09

Jack & the Tiny Bean Stalk

(Voiced by 13 month old Jack-Evan, typed by Mommy)

kent-pole-beans

Once upon a time, I found some beans.

Out in the Yard by you.

 I stuck them in some dirt so the birds wouldn’t eat them.  

beanstalk_cover

Plus, I had heard some great stories about what happens when you plant magical beans!

Out in the Yard by you.

I cried when I couldn’t find my beanstalk the next morning.  

Out in the Yard by you.

Mommy mentioned I should probably water them or they will die like hers do.

Out in the Yard by you.

Finally, on day 5…. my magic beanstalk appeared!

Out in the Yard by you.

It wasn’t quite what I expected though.

Out in the Yard by you.

Perhaps tomorrow, it will be tall enough to climb on?

 

THE END.


4
Jun 09

This Old House, with Jack-Evan (Part 1)

(Voiced by 13 month old Jack-Evan, and typed by Mommy)

Front Yard Remodeling by you.

Once upon a time we had an old shabby brown house.

Front Yard Remodeling by you.

It was quite boring until….

Front Yard Remodeling by you.

I told my daddy to paint it!

Front Yard Remodeling by you.

Because he loves me, he started right away.

Front Yard Remodeling by you.

And of course I sat nearby and supervised.

Front Yard Remodeling by you.

When Daddy got tired, I even stepped in to give him a hand.

Front Yard Remodeling by you.

Up we goooo…

Front Yard Remodeling by you.

Don’t worry Dad.  

Front Yard Remodeling by you.

I’ve got it alllllll under control!

…..

TO BE CONTINUED…


9
May 09

Happy 1st Birthday to Me

(Voiced by the now 1 year old Little Jack, yet still typed by Mommy)

Once upon a time, I had to take a bath.


Mommy said it was so I would smell good for everyone at the party.

Turns out, I wasn’t the only thing that smelled good! 

As we waited for everyone to show up….

Daddy headed to the store to pick up more Pepsi and my great Aunt Faye took over grilling!

Music was playing, people were taking pictures left and right….

…and everyone was just kicked back, having a great time.

(I’m glad they all had such a good time.  I, however, was much too sleepy)

Here is my girlfriend mommy’s friend’s daughter, Alyse.

 

(Don’t tell her, but I think she’s cute.)

 I even tried to show her how capable I am by providing her with food.

 

Then I had to concentrate on my own dessert.

(Oh…my bad….did you want some cake too?)

After throwing all my cake on the floor eating my dessert, mommy opened my presents.

I always thought it was I who was supposed to open my gifts,
but I didn’t really have the heart to take the fun away from mommy.

All in all, I had a fabulous day.

(And 4 more baths that evening.)

—–

THE END.