Posts Tagged: christian

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9
Oct 08

The Wrong Way to “Witness” to a Christian

I consider myself to be fairly open minded.  By that, I mean even when I do have a strong personal opinion about something, I “force” myself to recognize that other people may hold just as valid of opinion on the same subject…neither one of us will ever have the entire truth…and….somehow one of us (including me) may be ultimately wrong.  Because of that, I am not above allowing myself to “be wrong” should evidence to the contrary of what I formerly believed should make more sense. 

What may be surprising to most is that I grew up in an extremly conservative, fundamentalist Christian cultural mindset.  There were many things “taught” to me about “right” versus “wrong” in all areas of life – theology, ethics, behavior, morals, activities, politics, science, and even history.  I was taught in school that evolution was a plot by Satan to tear down God, the earth was created in 4400 BC (with the slight possibility that it may be as far back as 10,000 BC), the inerrant, infallibility of the canonical protestant scriptures as they are today, that other religions belonged to the devil, and all of the other beliefs that go along with fundamentalistic protestantism.  It never really occured to me back then that some of what I was being taught may be misinterpreted.  Life was good, I was happy, I believed what I was taught, and I saw nothing wrong with living life from our viewpoint.  I took it for granted that everyone else “believed like we did”.

When I hit my mid teens, however, I began to question more of what I was taught (even though one of the attitudes I had inherited was that we were to fear “questioning” what we were taught because that meant questioning the infallibility of the Bible).  It’s a scary thing to question something when you’ve been taught it is ”of God”.  Yet, one thing I constantly mulled over was “what is truth” – is truth simply what I am told to believe?  How do I know that what I am “told” is truth?  Is what I’m being “told” really “truth” or is there “truth” in other aspects of life that is just as reliable?

The older I became, and the more research I did on various world viewpoints, the more I realized that I can in no way claim to know absolute truth in as many areas as I thought I knew when I was a child.  For one thing, I never knew how the mainstream world viewed the beliefs I grew up with until I entered my 20s.  Would it surprise anyone that it shocked my core senses when the news recently announced that the Church of England was apologizing to Charles Darwin?  In the world I grew up in, Darwin and God just didn’t mesh.  The fact that I no longer hold staunchly to a young-earth theory still doesn’t remove the raw feelings that emerge when a core belief I once held is seemingly attacked.

Now lately, I’ve been thinking about how different people battle each other with their different view points.  Christians, as a whole, have long been slandered as “pig headed, arrogant, and close-minded.”   This is claimed to be due to our staunch historical insistance that our views are “correct” and others are “wrong”.  However, what bugs me is that I’ve often found that those people who often call us “close-minded” are the most close-minded of anyone.  They state that we aren’t accepting of their beliefs, yet, in the same breath, they are not accepting of our beliefs either. 

For example, the Christian religion is a missionary one – meaning that it is inherant in our belief system that we tell others what we believe and why.  When the “telling of what we believe” occurs, that is called “witnessing”.  Christians often get belittled for doing this by those outside of a religous faith, yet the ones doing the “belittling” are, at the same time, performing their own version of “witnessing” – the spreading of one’s beliefs to another, while trying to get that person to adhere to that belief. 

From what I’ve read on many websites, those against belief in God often use as many (if not more) “hate” and “filler” type of words than Christians themselves do.  They profess that their beliefs are the “right way” and that the Christians, with their beliefs, are “wrong” and “closeminded”.  How, then, might I ask, are they being “open minded”??  Any time one tries to force their own beliefs on someone else, while belittling the other person’s own beliefs through the use of harsh key words and various propaganda tactics, that is the very definition of being “close minded”.  This happens not only in the so-called “Christian vs. Non-Christian” faction, but in other areas of debate as well – rightwing vs. leftwing, republican vs. democrat, conservative vs. liberal, prolife vs. prochoice, traditional marriage vs. gay rights, traditional womanhood vs. feminism, and so forth.  

Why do many people feel that they can “convert” someone to their own beliefs by making the other person feel stupid?   Why do people resort more to bashing another’s intellect and emotional stability than to sticking with fact and examining evidence? 

Now, we all know that there are many Christian people who do act in such a way.  But recently, I’ve been more critical in noticing the key words that people use towards Christians in particular.  They are words that cause us to “miss the message” of what the other party may be trying to say because they cut to our core being and are intended to make us feel stupid.  When I see so-called “scholars” using these words, or when I run across certain phrases in “non-Christian” books, I immediately tend to discredit the author because they are, in essense, doing no more than staunchly witnessing for their own beliefs.

For example, in my studies of Ancient Greece a few months ago, I could tell the author was not a Christian.  Ok, fine by me….that’s his choice, right?  However, in one section that was discussing the Greek’s religious beliefs, the author noted that they used their religion to describe the various natural events in their “primitive” world.  But he went too far when he made the statement that “because of modern scientific discoveries, scholarly, learned people of modern society no longer need to believe in a bunch of immortal gods controlling them.”   What is inferred in that statement is obvious – if you’re smart and modern, you’ll realize that “god” doesn’t exist.  That immediately discredited that author in my mind because he was using his medium to force his belief on the reader while implying that those who do not believe his way are stupid.

What this all boils down to is how powerful your tongue -and the words you choose to use- can be.  If one wants to effectively “witness” (and this applies to christians and non-christians alike) about their beliefs, you never want to discredit yourself by implying that the person you are speaking to is stupid and you are “omniscient”.  The most effective way to display your beliefs before others (witness) is to present fact without battling, distinguish what is opinion, and to steer clear of belittling words and phrases that focus on a person’s intellect as a means to get them to change their mind.  Just because someone has not reached the same conclusion about something in life that you have, doesn’t mean they are “dumb”.

With all of that in mind, here is a list of words that will not work in converting a “Christian” to another belief system.  I see non-christians use them a lot, and they only make me hold even tighter to my original core belief in God.  A truly-human response to stimuli, I know, but that’s what happens none-the-less. 

The following list of words have been compiled from various “non-christian” websites I have visited lately.  What’s weird is how many of the site authors seem to be trying to bring their readers over to “their” point of view – yet the intended audience is alienated and made to feel like idiots.  One author specifically said “Christians- wake up!!! The God of the Bible does not love you!!! He never did, and never will!!! How many atrocities will it take to get it through your thick skulls….”. 

Ok.  Yeh. Good one.  Very effective.

Telling someone to “wake up”, they’re “not loved”, and they have “thick skulls”, is a great way to start a relationship with a reader.

I often wonder why those people seem to “care” so much?  Why do they get so riled up over the idea that some people believe in the supernatural when they don’t??  No one will ever prove one way or another until the second after they die anyway. Is it really that bad if someone wants to believe in God or an afterlife??  I can understand the mindset of a Christian who is working from the belief that they must share their beliefs in light of eternal salvation for others – but I will never understand why those who don’t believe in God feel like it’s their mission to “convert” those who chose to??  What do they stand to gain in it all?

Anywho, for my christian readers out there, read this list and see if you don’t agree with me – are these not words that would cause you to want to tune out everything else the other person is saying?!  (I will not link to the websites because I don’t want to promote them.)

Words & Phrases Non-Christian Shouldn’t Use in Reference to Christians
(If You Truly Want to Get Your “Point” Across):

  • Biblethumper
  • Biblegod
  • Closeminded
  • Pious
  • Brainwashed
  • Stupid
  • Mindless
  • Plain Ignorant
  • Bible Myths
  • Xtians
  • “REAL” (in all caps)
  • Gullible
  • They don’t think
  • Wake Up!
  • Your thick skulls
  • Fool
  • Idiot
  • Those with a normal IQ
  • Clowns who authored the Bible
  • Fake history
  • Pretend
  • Know that Jesus didn’t exist
  • Maintainers of the status quo
  • Defenders of a dying, old faith
  • People who circle their theological wagons
  • See everything through their filter
  • Hypocrite
  • Deluded
  • Braindead
  • Non-factual
  • Lack of basis
  • Desperate
  • Doltish
  • Fanciful
  • Dishonest
  • Incapable of thought
  • Limited in reading skills
  • Extravagant claims
  • Incapable of analyzing the subject
  • Incapable of reasoning
  • Narrow minded

….and thus the list goes on and on.  What’s funny is those very same authors claim that the Christians they’ve encountered are unable to discuss things logically without throwing “rambling, slanderous, disjointed paragraphs” at them – effectively accusing Christians of doing the very same things they are doing.  The authors often end with the conclusion that because the Christian did not convert to the author’s own personal world view point after reading their websites, then the Christians must be incapable of rational thought….and “because Christian belief requires ignorance, narrow-mindedness and a complete inability to consider a differing viewpoint.”

That last statement was pulled off of one of those websites directly aimed at converting Christians to atheism.  I find it highly laughable!  Since when did “considering a different viewpoint” come to mean that one must also be convinced that the opposing viewpoint is now inerrent truth?  Since when did “considering a different viewpoint” come to mean “agreeing” with everything the author said? 

Many Christians are perfectly capable of researching, learning of, and debating the merits of a particular viewpoints without “believing” in them.

But anywho…my point is…uh…don’t make fun of others. :-P   (I just took the long way around to say it).

 

 

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7
Oct 08

Does Your Church Have a Ladies’ Ministry?

Tonight was our church’s ladies’ ministry meeting.  We only meet a few times per year, but I always love going because of the good fellowship with the older ladies there.

Our church is pretty small, averaging about 40 people in attendence on Sunday mornings.  I began attending shortly after the church was founded in 1987, so that would have meant I was 5 years old (I’m almost 26 now).  It is pastored by my Uncle Ronnie, my mother’s eldest brother.  There has never really been anyone my age at the church, but I have always loved attending because the folks there are like an extended family to me.  In fact, the one time someone my age DID show up, he actually became my family. :)   You see, in August of 2005, during a revival one Tuesday night, I met Kevin.  (We were married in June of 2006, in the same church).

I wasn’t feeling too well today, so dinner tonight consisted of leftovers.  We also introduced Jack-Evan to a “vegetable” for the first time – peas – and had a blast laughing at his cute self, enjoying his meal.  It was even funnier trying to get the green pea glob out of the edges his poor little nostril.  I really wish I would have a camera for that one….you know, for posterity’s sake.

At 6:15, I packed up Jack-Evan in his car seat, kissed Kevin goodbye, and then headed to my parents’ house to pick my mom up.  Our church is a 20 minute drive from there, and the meeting started at 6:45.

On the way we joked that we were going to the “Ladies plus a Baby” meeting since Jack would be there.  It’s the first time they’ve had the meeting since he was born, so it was going to be fun to have him around our church friends outside of a “church service” setting.

The meeting is held in our church’s small fellowship hall / kitchen area.  There were twelve in attendence, with my Aunt (our pastor’s wife) presiding over the meeting.  Normally we have someone do a voluntary devotion that they’ve prepared, but the one who had volunteered was unable to make it so we just did some prayer time before getting down to the business part of the meeting.

Now, I don’t know about your church, but in our church, the Ladies’ ministry is responsible for the traditional womanly stuff.  That includes things such as decorating for special events, arranging various parties and activities (like the fall festival), providing the food for church events, organizing volunteers, etc.   Tonight we talked about a new class that is starting up for the preschoolers in our church – a sort of mini church for the two to five year olds during the normal worship service (11 AM on Sunday Morning).  We already have a teacher in place, but we needed to set up a schedule of volunteers as well.

I enjoy working with the preschool age children, but unfortunately, I was unable to volunteer for anything this time.  For one, I am already committed to stage presentation of our praise music – it’s my duty to ensure the songs are displayed during singing using the powerpoint slides.  This takes up the first 20-30 minutes of the service (Our services usually have 1/3 singing and 2/3 preaching). Also, after singing, I return to our pew and hold Jack-Evan.  I personally feel that training him to sit and listen to the preacher is better than arriving at church and dumping him immediately into the nursery.  I would feel like I’m neglecting my parental duties if I allowed myself to do that!   I know that not everyone is able to keep their child with them during preaching, but being together “as a family” during service is something that my husband and I feel really strongly about for our family.  Jack’s always done pretty well too.  He loves sitting on my lap and looking around at everyone.  Once in a while he gets vocal and I take him out to nurse if he doesn’t quiet within a minute or so, but otherwise he does fine in the service.  Now, granted, he’s only 5 months old right now, so it is yet to be seen if we will be able to handle him in service when he’s a bit older.  I hope so though!  We hope that by training him early to sit on my lap through preaching, it will develop better discipline for later on. 

So….. that’s why I wasn’t able to volunteer for the new preschool class.  I would have loved to though.  Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more for the church – but not at the cost of leaving my own family during service. 

Anywho, after discussing the new preschool class, we determined a time for our annual Christmas banquet.  This is always a fun event, filled with good fellowship - especially when we play the “white elephant” game!  For those of you who aren’t familiar with that game, it’s where everyone brings a wrapped gift marked “man” or “woman” (women bring woman gifts, men bring man gifts).  Then, we all sit in a huge circle and draw numbers, usually ranging from 1-60.  The lowest number starts first and gets to choose a gift from the pile.  Once the gift is unwapped, the person sets it in front of them and the next person can choose whether they want to get a “new” gift or “take” the gift from the previous owner.  If your gift gets taken, you can then choose to get a new gift or take one from someone else.  It gets really funny when people start (in good humor) “fighting” over the best gifts!  If you have two gifts taken, the third gift automatically becomes yours and you retire from the game.  It’s all good fun, and everyone goes home with a nice gift in the end. 

My other Aunt had already secured a date for the rented community building where we usually hold our Christmas banquet, so our only duty was to determine a time (which we did).  Next month we’ll determine the food list and who’s bringing what – sometimes we have an italian themed Christmas banquet (speghetti, lasagna, etc.) and sometimes it’s traditional ham and turkey.

After business was settled, we said a closing prayer and began the “fun” part – eating! :-D   We always have some sort of finger foods to eat afterwards.  While we were eating, I pulled an exercauser bouncer from the nursery, into the kitchen beside the tables, and put Jack-Evan in it.  He had a great time, especially with all the women doting on him, and trying to make him smile!   However, around 8 pm, as we were cleaning up, he became a bit fussy and fell asleep in the arms of one of the ladies.  It’s cute how predictable Jack is when it’s his nap time…he always falls asleep near 8 pm, no matter where we are! 

It took about 10 minutes to get the kitchen cleaned up and the food cleared away (most of us made plates for our husbands at home), and then we all said our goodbyes, and parted ways. :)

I really miss when we don’t have these meetings (such as during the summer when not a lot of holiday activities are occuring).  Even though we don’t do too many fancy projects or outings, we do have a good time talking to each other and just getting to know one another.

What about you?  Does your church have some sort of women’s fellowship program?  If so, do you take part in it?

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25
Feb 08

Apathy with the KJV and Rediscovery in The Message Bible

I attended a private, conservative baptist christian school my entire life – from the moment I started Kindergarten until the day I walked down the aisle as a high school graduate.  During these 13 years I learned, memorized, and read thousands upon thousands of Bible verses – all of which were in the King’s english.  The school I attended believed in reading the King James Version only.  We were even taught about the various “evils” of other translations (especially those that left out reference to Jesus’ blood).

One of the maladies of attending a christian school is that apathy and familiarity often sets in.  I hate to admit that it also happened to me, but it did.  As soon as a verse was read, the thought of “oh, whatever, I already know this” would creep in.  I could quote just about any passage you’d ask for, without missing a thee or a thou anywhere.  But did I fully understand it?  I tried.  Really, I did.  But familiarity with something often makes it seem boring.  In my mind, I knew the Word of God was alive and even reading it every day, one could continue making new discoveries throughout their entire life.  But in my heart, I just wasn’t “feeling it”.

And I definately wasn’t “feeling it” during my senior year of high school when some terrible things happened in my life, including the death of both of my grandmothers as well as the sudden death of my 17 year old boyfriend – someone who I had based my whole future upon.  I blamed everything on the supreme ruler I knew as “God”.  My whole world crashed in on me and I understood none of it.  How could all of this bad stuff happen?  I was the good girl – never balked authority, didn’t drink or smoke or do drugs, never partied, was involved in many church activities, had kept myself “pure” - yet my life seemed worse off than many of my so-called friends who were messing around with the darker and perverted side of adult life.  Even Isaiah 55:8 (“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD”) didn’t help. 

There was no comprehension in me as to why God would let such horrible things happen to me.  After graduation (2001) and up through 2005, the pain lingered as well as a deep abiding hatred for who I knew as the God of my childhood.   I still attended church and never told anyone how I felt – but it was all action and no heart. 

At best, one could say I became agnostic.  At worst, atheist.  I’m not sure however what prevented me from completely abandoning a symblance of faith – perhaps it was my own fear (born out of my years as a devout young believer) or perhaps it was the power of God himself that kept me from being plucked from Jesus’ hand (John 10:29). 

After my boyfriend died when we were 17, I had no inclination towards wanting to date.  In fact, my only date over the next 4 years was one blind date I had one night courtesy of my Aunt wanting to hook me up with someone.  My next date didn’t occur until my 21st birthday.  Every guy I knew was judged up to the standard of the guy I had loved & lost – and no one met that standard.  I cared for no one, and my heart was harder than diamonds (although not as shiny!).  From 2001 until 2005 I had one person who I considered a boyfriend (although that only lasted 5 months in early 2004 - we both knew we weren’t meant for each other in the long run), and only casually dated 2 other guys after that (never considered them anything deeper).  I knew in my heart that when I met the man that I was supposed to marry (if there was such a thing) I would know it instantly.  Playing games wasn’t my style, and I knew that if I didn’t feel the same deep connection as I had with my first true love, then I didn’t even need to bother too long with a guy.  Honestly, I didn’t even believe God had anyone else out there for me.  Mostly, I had resigned myself to a lifetime of singledom.

During this time I tried hard to open my heart back to God and would feel his tugging at times – but the pain was far too great and my understanding of why he had let things happen was far too shallow.  I ventured out and purchased a New International Version of the Bible (my first time reading outside of the KJV) in 2003 and for a time thought I was back on the right path.  But it didn’t last.  The verses were all too familiar, all too contrived, all too lofty and uninspiring.  To me they were something I’d learned years ago, and represented an unfair, hateful God who took away those I loved with no thought for my future.

The last pure pain moment I had was in the middle of August, 2005.  The last words I wrote in a journal entry was “I hate my life”.   Two weeks later in late August, while at a Tuesday night revival at our church, I met Kevin and it felt like peace entered me immediately.  Growing up, my mom use to tell me “you should go to church every time the doors open – you never know who you’ll meet!”.  Imagine how surprised she was at her own “fulfilled prophesy”!  I knew that night that this was the man God had set on earth for me.  Our first date was one week later, and we were engaged on October 1st, 2005.   I went from never dating to being engaged in less than 6 weeks – and we were married on June 17, 2006.  

The more I learned (and continue to learn) about Kevin, the circumstances of our lives, the weeks leading up to our first meeting, our character traits, our strengths / weaknesses, and our needs, the more I realize how much of God’s hand was at work in bringing us together – not to mention the fact that no guy my age had ever crossed the doors of our very small church in the 16 years I had attended. 

My soul then opened up for the first time in over 5 years as my focus shifted from blaming God for taking away “my future husband” in a tragic death, to realizing that God had different – and special – plans for my life all along.

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.  9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.  10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:  11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.  12 For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

After meeting Kevin I found new meaning in Isaiah 55 and a renewed faith and awe in God.  Yet I still could not shake the apathy and familiarity I felt with the KJV.   Reading it reminded me of nothing more than my years at a private Christian school that had ended so terribly.  It was lofty, sounded snooty, and was for the most part hard to understand in many areas due to the language differences (despite the fact that I had spent 13 years memorizing it in school). 

About a week ago, I pulled out a copy of the new testament in “The Message” version from my bookshelf.  It had been purchased on a whim 3 years ago but never read.  And I began to read it this time – and I am so glad I did.  I’ve read more, and understood more, in the past few days than I have in many, many years.  This particular version is set in modern day english language verbiage and idioms, translated directly from the greek / hebrew language, and is meant to be more of a “reading” version than a serious study version.  Ancient text wasn’t written in thee’s and thou’s, but in the every day language of the prophets, laymen, tax payers, doctors, and fishermen.   The translator’s goal of this version was to convey the message of God’s Word in the same manner that it was conveyed thousands of years ago – in the street language of the people of the time.  How many of us truly and deeply understand the King’s English, with it’s medival poetic prose?  Not too many, if you’re willing to admit it.  This modern version, The Message, speaks to the hearts of many who have trouble understanding (or feel apathy towards) the King James Version.  It has brought so many things alive for me in a way I haven’t known in over a decade and it’s created the hunger to do something I’ve never really done – read the Bible for pure pleasure and understanding.  Isn’t that what God wants in the first place?

Since starting, I’ve read from the beginning of Matthew all the way through the end of 2nd Corinthians (a feat I’d never done in all the years of “KJV theology study” at school).  Last night, my husband took me to the Bible bookstore and bought me a beautiful leather bound full copy of The Message (containing old and new testament) for me as well and I dove into it as soon as we arrived home.  By 2 am this morning I had made it through Genesis and Exodus.  We also read a “daily proverb” chapter before bed – and my husband loved it (he has more trouble than I do understanding the King James English).  We hope to do the proverbs chapter reading each night now.  It is just so refreshing!

After I finish up this post I’m headed to my mom’s house to visit for a few hours and will be taking my new little leather copy with me to read some more – and what’s great is that I’m thoroughly excited and anxious to begin reading it again.  Everything just seems brand new to me all over again.