Little Jack’s Corner

…or, as my mom has told me millions of times, “If you ain’t got nothing good to say, don’t say it at all!”

For such a little tiny muscle, the tongue sure can cause a lot of mischief and heartache! 

I have always been really opinionated and tend to say what is on my mind, so one of the biggest lessons in marriage I have learned over the past 2 years is how and when to keep my mouth shut. 

And letmetellyou, learning that lesson has saved us from many fights! Consequently, I’ve also been able to apply it positively to my interactions with others - not only in marriage, but with extended family, and in the business world. 

So here’s a thought.

If you’re annoyed at someone, just walk away.  If they do something to you that you just don’t like, ”Turn the other cheek” as Jesus teaches.  If you think they’re “doing it wrong”, just forget about it.  Unsought advice is usually ignored anyway, and no one likes to be criticized.  So just keep your mouth shut.  Honestly, it won’t kill you.  I promise.

In today’s society, when the worldly philosophies teaches that one should always ”stand up for oneself”, “never let someone walk over you”, “let your opinion be known”, “assert your authority”, and “speak your mind” - especially when trying to convert women to feminism - is it any wonder that kindness, respect, and loyalty has greatly diminished? 

A comment I read on a wonderful home-making blog  said it best this way…

“I remember how shocked I was when I first had communications from young feminists who left none of their feelings hidden when they expressed their disgust for me…even if I did feel disgusted by someone, I probably wouldn’t tell it to them to their face. I would want to give them a chance to grow out of it. There are things I think about people that I would not verbalize, as it would hurt their feelings…and later, if I wait long enough, I may change my mind about it, so it is best left unsaid. there is a book you can get from a company called Good Things For Your Family, entitled, “Least Said, Soonest Mended.” It may have been written in the 18th century as a character book–I’m not sure.

We were taught that words were like a feather pillow that had been torn open. Trying to get all those feathers back into the pillow was impossible. This was an illustrated lesson used on many a young person to set their standards for life”

Words, unbridled and aimed at the heart, can maime even the toughest of people.  So just don’t say them.

 Now, I’m not saying one should become a doormat and never say anything (there is definately a time and place to assert your opinion - such as in abusive or dangerous situations), but a healthy dose of “just-shut-up” is very much needed in our society. 

Why do we not teach this any more?  What happened to manners and respect?  What happened to good old fashioned kindness?  Why can’t people just “hold their tongue”??

The world is not just about “me, me, me”.  Yet more and more adults have become like that - my thoughts, my opionions, my beliefs, my wants, my needs, my desires, and MY feelings.  We act like that is all that matters - and we’re passing it on to our children in a big way…each generation seems to be getting detrimentally worse. One generation emboldens themselves to speak what’s on their mind - and the next generation takes it a step further and acts out violently when they disagree with something.

How about the incident a few months ago when a group of nine 3rd graders in Georgia were caught up in a plan to tie up and torture (possibly kill) their own teacher??  Their reason?  They didn’t like that the teacher had reprimanded another student who was acting out in class.  So they plotted together to get revenge.

Or how about the group of teenagers who beat up one girl because they didn’t like what she had said on Myspace - and videotaped the whole beating for YouTube.

Our little tongue can cause loads of problems.

 Anyway, so why am I blabbering along about random tongue’yness?  Perhaps because of this fabulous post about yesteryear and the changes in society I just read….or maybe perhaps because exactly one year ago today Kevin and I were in the midst of some very hard, trying times in our marriage because I couldn’t keep my tongue in check…

Just last night Kevin and I realized how close we came to there not even being a “Little Jack”.

The impact of learning to control my own tongue in our marriage was astounding.  Last summer, I realized I couldn’t change those things my husband did that made me want to spout out unkind things, but I could change my own reaction to them.   In fact, God laid it in my heart that the only person I could ever change was myself…..and as the Bible teaches, “Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  And a transformation was definately what I needed.  And surprise of surprises - changing my reaction to things has created amazing harmony and peace in our marriage, increased our love tenfold, and virtually eliminated fights and bickering.   It has been quite an eye opening experience for me….especially since I would have sworn back then that I wasn’t to blame in the firstplace!

So, that’s my long, drawn out, blabbering thought for today.  “Just Shut Up”, oh little tongue.