Little Jack’s Corner

Part 2 of the Housewife Series. 

For many women, having grown up in a culture of self-independence and self-promotion, it is hard to consider life as a stay-at-home wife or stay-at-home mom.  “What do you do all day?  Don’t you get bored?!  Aren’t you wasting your life?” they question today’s modern SAHMs.

I happen to not be one of those types.  Being more old-fashioned than many 25 year olds in today’s society, I find a higher fulfillment in being a “Keeper at Home”, as it is known in many conservative circles.  Like many young girls today, I grew up with high aspirations and rich encouragement to find a productive career.  “I’m going to be a veterinarian!”,  “I want to work with children!”, “I want to be a Psychologist!”, and ”I’m going to be the director of a non-profit educational organization!”, were just a few of my lofty business goals in my earlier life.  I am self determined, a hard worker, smart, and pick up quickly on things, so there was no doubt in my mind that I could do these things.

However, above and beyond that, in the back of my mind, I’ve always known that the thing that would fulfill me the most would be a life as a stay-at-home mom, like those women of old did.    With a business management degree and 4 years of supervisory / administrative work behind me, I have come to realize that working outside the home is not all it’s promoted to be when you’re a solid family homebody such as myself.  Although I enjoy making the lovely green stuff and being commended by my superiors on a “job well done”, there is much stress and time involved.  It can definately be said that it’s easy to be “married to one’s job”.  A woman gone from her home 8…10…12 hours per day simply can not mentally or physically handle everything involved in creating an old fashioned “cookies baking in the kitchen, mom in her apron” home life that comforts us all.   I, for one, know I couldn’t. 

In other words, despite my skills in different modern areas, I admit - I am not a SuperWoman.

When I was single, all of this didn’t matter.  I still lived with my parents and I left the home-making to my own mother.  In fact, cleaning toilets never entered my train of thought.  And, I had the best Laundry Fairy in the world.  Before marriage I dreamed of the perfect life with my future husband - coming home to a clean house, popping dinner on the stove, then settling in for a romantic evening.  Entertaining guests, laughter, parties, and the smell of chocolate chip cookies were a part of that plan as well.

Reality check!

After being gone from 6:45 am to 5 pm Monday through Friday - enduring stress at work from people AND machines - the last thing I wanted to do was ”work” with a stove.  Or a broom.  Or the ever mounting pile of laundry, for that fact.   So of course…..I didn’t.  “Why should I be the one to do this, when I bring in almost half of our income??  I work as many hours per week as he does!” I began to selfishly battle in my head. 

Now, I believe that in a large majority of men, regardless of how “politically correct” they’ve been taught to be, they still inwardly believe that housework is largely a woman’s responsibility.  I know my husband thought that way, even though he’s never said anything of the sort.   Things in our newly formed household were a mess - and destruction was coming our way very fast.   Messy rooms, dirty toilets, filthy dishes, unclean clothes, no supper on the table, a dissappointed husband, and an overtired, annoyed wife do not make for a great, homey atmosphere! 

To my dismay, I also very quickly learned that my previous Laundry Fairy no longer knew my address.

To my (much much) bigger dismay, I learned that when you marry, you become the Laundry Fairy.

And all this time, my relationship with my husband was falling so fast that we could hardly breathe.  I began unconciously (and sometimes conciously) blaming him for everything that was wrong - and things he didn’t do that I expected him to do, such as keep the yard maintained, became overblown and drawn-out arguments.  Like all humans tend to do, I began hating in him the things that were mirroring my own behavior. 

It wasn’t until we were nearing our 1 year wedding anniversary that God laid upon me the thought that perhaps I was the one that needed to change. 

But God!  I haven’t done anything!” I would cry.  God’s chastening?  “Exactly.”

After my layoff a few months later (a mixed blessing in our eyes!), we decided that we should try a more traditional based lifestyle, especially since we had just learned of my pregnancy with our first child.   I would forgo working full time, and take up the ancient tradition of being a full time stay-at-home-wife and (soon to be) stay-at-home-mommy.  That meant a 40% drop in income for us.  We would have to place our trust in God wholeheartedly to provide for our upcoming needs.

Now, when I say we would trust God, that didn’t mean we would trust him to pay for extravegant vacations, new fancy clothing, or plasma TV’s.   No.  But we would trust Him for our survival necessities - housing, utilities, food, necessary clothing when our supplies delapidated, baby supplies, medical needs and the like.  Having not used credit in over a year, our income stream was our sole source of supply, so our trust in Him was going to be well needed.

So, on October 5, 2007, I bid a final farewell to the working business world I had been a part of for 4 years, and said a big HELLO! to my new “career” as a full time “Keeper at Home”.