Thursday was a busy day for us.  Company was coming for the weekend, and my house was a mess. 

Three weeks of focusing on learning “new parent” skills had left our usually tidy home in quite a disarray of dishes, dust, and disorder!  And as of Thursday morning, things still did not look presentable.  Therefore, as you can imagine, my pride-of-home self conciousness took over and I was in a mad, hurried dash to get things done.

And, as you can also imagine, the mad hurried cleaning dash does not always fit well when you have a 3 week old nursing infant to care for!  By 2 pm, I was in a terrible mood.  Nothing was getting done, the dryer was broke, the guest bed hadn’t been set up, and a good ol’ fashion pity party was starting to set in.  

“Why should I have to do all this?  It’s not fair.  Kevin should have thought to do this…and this…and this.  He should…,”  my mind began to fume as I began to lose site of all my husband truly does for us.  All I could think of was that I was tired, all alone with a messy house and cranky baby, my husband wasn’t due home until 8 pm, and company was expected by 9 pm. 

All I could think of was how embarrassed I would be if our company saw our home in it’s less than perfect state.

I was living in the moment while worrying about a future event and anger was taken over.  I felt like stomping.  I felt like crying.  It was only due to the fact that my parents came over for a couple of hours to watch Jack-Evan for me that I kept my sanity.

Not only was I frustrated, I was frustrated with being frustrated.  What was wrong with me?  Where’s the do-it-all-super-mom gene at in me?  Had it bypassed my DNA?  For the upteenth time in the past few weeks, as I looked around at all the work left to be done, I felt useless.  And it seemed like time was standing still in the midst of my uselessness.

Why is it when we anticipate an unknown future, worry, frustration, and dispair sets in?  Like the Apostle Paul warned about in Ephesians, when we let frustration get to us, we are weakened in spirit and the devil gains a foothold.

Instead of focusing on the knowledge that I had many hours left to ensure things were tidy….Instead of focusing on the fact that our company was coming to see us and our son - not a perfect home…Instead of resting in the strength and peace God provides when we ask it of him… I was giving the devil a foothold, and I was making myself miserable. 

One lesson my mom has always taught me is that only WE can allow ourselves to be miserable - meaning, we as individuals have a choice over how we react inwardly to any situation.  Either we can choose to submit to our human weakness and let misery enter, or we can choose to look toward God and his peace during trying times. 

It took my husband’s own kindness to return my focus that evening.  As he returned home (after being away working for over 15 hours), I found myself spouting an array of “do-this” and “do-thats” before saying hello. 

And what did he do? 

He just smiled, kissed us both hello, and pulled out a small goody bag of presents.  After his long, tiring day, he had swung by the store and picked up a stuffed monkey and two books for Jack, as well as a lovely woman’s christian devotional book for me.

“I remember you said your dad use to surprise you with small gifts once in a while after returning from work, and I want to carry on that tradition with you and our son.” he said.

I felt immediately convicted - especially since the first devotional I turned to after opening my new book was entitled “Freedom from Worry”.

We both had a tiring, rough day - yet here I was, allowing selfishness to enter my heart, while my husband had focused on selflessness. 

In that moment, my husband showed me a good picture of how a Christian husband shelters and protects his wife, and he became an example of Christ - not because of the physical gift he gave - but because of his unselfish showing of love, and how he had sensed my needs that day.  Just as Psalm 40:2 paints a picture of God’s protective love for us, that day it also represented my sweet husband. ”He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.” 

And you know what?  All of the cleaning was done before company arrived.  The worry and distress had been all for naught.  
 

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What Next?

• “Get Thee to the Hospital” Prenatal Visit #16 (37 Weeks) (Viewed 0 times)
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• My Beginnings as a Stay at Home Wife / Mom (Viewed 0 times)

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