Little Jack’s Corner

It’s February already!  Don’t we all just love February?!  I know I do. 

It’s during February that we become fully adjusted to life in a new year.  Things are clearer, and our new year’s resolutions are not so far down the drain that we’re depressed about it.  The promise of a new spring, new life, and new hope for the upcoming warmer months is just around the bin. 

We also have the wonderfully commercialized holiday of Valentines.  Last year, I became a little pouty about Valentine’s day because my husband, Kevin, seemed not to even know what day it was (”It’s February 10th, right??”).  Don’t get me wrong - he’s a very affectionate, romantic person….he’s just not..uh..commercialized.  When he realized how I felt, he just raised his eyebrow at me and said -

“Lisa, I try to show you I love you every day.  What’s so special about that one day??”

And you know what?  He’s right.  All of the love and affection we show to people on Valentine’s day - why don’t we do that every day??  A life is not made up of shallow, commercialized daydrops.  A rich, full life is made up of the moment by moment activities we carry out 365 days a year. 

Every time my girly side gets a little starry eyed over the romance that Valentine’s day portrays, I remind myself of the lesson Kevin taught me.  As a new wife, I also have had to spend much time learning to communicate in my husband’s “other planet” language (you ladies out there know what I mean!!). 

Here are some things that I’ve learned that, as a man, he appreciates far more than the commercially bought gifts we give on February 14.  I keep them in mind and work daily at putting them to use - as well as discovering new ones.  They are tried and true ways I know of telling my own husband how deeply I truly do love him.  Perhaps your man will like these too!

Top Ways to Silently Say I Love You to Your Husband

1. Trust him
2. Respect him
3. No more nagging!
4. Say thank you, even for little things
5. Smile brightly at him
6. Jump into his arms when he comes home from work…then..
7. …after a quick cheery hello, let him “detox” alone for a bit!
8. If he wears uniforms to work, hang them out and iron them the night before
9. Slip a fresh-out-of-the-dryer towel in the bathroom while he’s showering
10. Let him do things his way for once
11. Scratch his back before bed at night
12. Never say “no, not tonight”
13. Become an passionate “initiator”
14. Praise his abillities, even ones that seem insignificant to you
15. Praise his accomplishments
16. Never degrade him in front of other people
17. Never call him ugly words or bad names
18. Be quick to say you’re sorry for any part you’ve had in an argument
19. Be the first to say you’re sorry (he’ll pick up the habit too after a while)
20. Never hastily accuse him of things
21. Don’t make fun of him, even if he laughs himself
22. Be generous on physical affection (hugs, kisses, handholding)
23. Don’t question how his spends his personal money
24. Don’t have hidden agendas when you communicate (he can’t read your mind)
25. Let him know every day that you need him (physically, emotionally, and mentally)
26. Don’t drop woman-style hints… tell him upfront things you like in every aspect of life
27. Don’t expect him to remember everything you like!
28. Don’t argue over silly, non-life threatening things
29. Trust his parenting style as long as your child isn’t being abused!
30. If you have an issue with something, be honest about it - don’t hold it in
31. Make sure every day is filled with 10 times more positive actions than negative ones!
32. Do not threaten “divorce” as a way to make him “come around”
33. Always take your husband’s side in his personal relations with others
34. Don’t tell him he did something the “wrong way” if it’s not hurting anyone
35. Do not lie to him
36. Keep your mouth shut!
37. Let him drive for hours, even when lost, if he prides himself on his directional abilities
38. Smile…smile..and smile at him - often!  A real smile, with your eyes connected
39. Don’t settle for mundane everyday “pecks” - Keep real kisses alive
40. Pray for him daily
41. Go to church with him
42. Have a hot meal waiting when he arrives home
43. Don’t inturrupt his football games!
44. Don’t get jealous of his video game system (playstation is his detox like shopping is ours!)
45. Put a positive spin on requests (”I love you so much, and I want to spend more time with you” instead of “You never do anything with me!!”)
46. Don’t use your whiney voice - be sincere with requests
47. Don’t pout (he’s not your dad)
48. Work on keeping a clean home
49. If you are a stay-at-home-wife / mom - thank him daily for providing for the family
50. Praise his actions to others - in front of him!
51. Always sit with him when you are out in public
52. Do not partake in husband bashing
53. Respect your husband, even when absent (if you don’t respect him, how will anyone else??)
54. Never, ever, say something bad about his family
55. Protect his secrets - don’t gossip about him!
56. Read solid advice books about being a better wife (and put the information to work)
57. Never be so conceited that you think he’s the one with all the problems
58. Allow yourself room to grow and change
59. Pay attention to your fitness levels and appearance
60. Keep yourself clean and smelling fresh
61. Keep your teeth brushed!!
62. Don’t withhold praise, even if you are feeling neglected
63. Slip in sincere compliments every day (”I just loved how you…”)
64. Ask for his help
65. Don’t be afraid to admit to him when you are unable to do something
66. Let him be your hero
67. Let him know he is your hero
68. Personality differences is no cause for degrading him for doing something you wouldn’t (i.e. folding the washclothes “wrong”)
69. If he is finally talking, and pouring his heart out - SHUT UP!  Just listen.  Don’t even talk when he falls silent again.
70. Touch him often
71. Rub his face slowly
72. Massage his back and legs
73. Offer him a pedicure (sans the polish!)
74. Let him know how much he compliments your own personality
75. Do not speak of past flames or relationships, other than necessary facts where health is involved
76. Do not say things in the heat of the moment that you will regret later - words are powerful!
77. Do not break your promises to him (even if he’s a little absentminded with his)
78. Cook him breakfast (a rare treat in some homes!!)
79. Praise him when he does unusual house chores out of the blue
80. Write him love notes
81. Create a homemade card and have it sticking in the door for him to find when he comes home
82. Praise him in front of your children
83. Never degrade him in front of your children - nor make them “choose sides”
84. Respect his opinions - they are neither “stupid” or “dumb”.  They’re his - the man you love.
85. Don’t “try” to make him jealous
86. There’s never such a thing as “harmless flirting” when it comes to men outside of your marriage
87. Ensure that he trusts you - and be the type of person that deserves that trust
88. Make sure your home is a place of rest and relaxation
89. Keep a check on your own attitude (the woman has control over her home’s atmophere!)
90. Keep your bed made and comfortable!
91. Do not be cynical towards him
92. Do not blame him for your bad day
93. If you have a bad attitude, he will too
94. Make sure your home smells nice and looks tidy
95. Be a good steward of your household finances
96. Stay-at-homer’s:  Don’t spend his money foolishly!
97. Don’t keep secrets from him…
98. …but don’t spout out unecessary things (”Honey, I had a dream about the guy at Aldi’s….”)
99. Have a special “I love you” sign code (We use 143…and 1432!)