You know that feeling you get when your husband walks over a piece of trash in the hall, stands on a wet rag in the shower (without picking it up), pushes something out of the way in the living room, or leaves the occassional office chair in the middle of the living room (what? no? well my hubby does that).
No matter what it is, to us wives those seemingly petty things can get really annoying. It’s that feeling of “ok, doesn’t he realize that _______ needs to be done?”. Then we sulk, pout, or keep everything in until it explodes with “How dare you not unfurl our american flag that you saw tangled for the past 6 days!!!”, while our husbands look at us with comical amusement (and sometimes sheer uhididntseeitthere bewilderment).
There’s even a curtain rod in our living room that is crooked, and occassionally I’ll get annoyed that Kevin hasn’t attempted to fix it. The same white curtains have hung there for 8 months now – yet yesterday whilest I was steam ironing them, Kevin looks at me and says “Oh, I like those! Are they new?”. He’s never noticed them. (Which solved the problems of why he hadn’t fixed the curtain rod they were hanging on).
No matter how saintly (haha) I try to be towards my husband’s lack of homemaking skills, and no matter how non-naggy I try to be (in the faint hopes that he will realize that suchandsuch needs to be done), I still get quite frustrated once in a while.
And this week, that frustration came to a head. Blame it on pregnancy induced hormones. Blame it on my control freak nature. I dunno. But I had a meltdown the other day when, yet once again, Kevin left our heavy office chair right in the middle of the living room where he had spent the previous 2 evenings playing his playstation before bed.
The same heavy office chair that I’ve begged him countless times to pleasepleaseplease put back before bedtime. The same heavy office chair that I have a hard time rolling back to the spot where it’s supposed to be in the other room. The same heavy office chair that I shouldn’t be rolling back to the other room since I’m on no-heavy-lifting bedrest.
But in my manic hormonal state, I simply can not stand an awkward large chair right smack in the middle of our small (and only) living/family room all day long. Grrr.
Now, before I continue, I’d like to throw out how wonderful my husband truly is when my feelings aren’t taking over. It’s because of his dedication to his job and being the “bread winner” that I’ve been fortunate enough to stay home during this pregnancy and will be able to stay at home with our baby. He’s an awesome man that works really hard.
Also, both of us are also pretty old fashioned in the belief that the inner house cleanliness is managed by the woman, and the yard is managed by the man. Therefore I have no problem doing dishes, doing our laundry, doing the sweeping, vaccuuming, organizing, etc. In fact, it makes me feel very house-wifeyish and very proud of my home.
(And let me slide in there that before marriage I was completely opposed to the idea of “chores” or “nagging” or “honey-do” lists because I felt that degraded the man).
What I have learned in two years of marriage though, is that while general cleaning duties don’t bother me, I get quite annoyed with constantly picking up behind someone and with having to constantly ask for stuff to be done that either I feel like I shouldn’t have to do, or actually can’t do myself (such as moving heavy boards or finishing the paint trim while I’m pregnant).
And because I still refuse to be a nagger and truly do appreciate what my husband DOES do, little things that need doing (or that I want done) sometimes build up inside me to the point where I explode (or withdraw into non-talkitiveness). I mean, doesn’t the bright blue tape along the trim silently encourage him to want to finish it up??? And doesn’t the blanket that just fell off of the back of the couch annoy him like it does me??
No. Apparantly it doesn’t. *Sniffle*
So this week, even though it went against every belief I had before marriage, I’ve approached Kevin about possibly implementing a real honesttogosh honey-do list. To my surprise, he seemed really agreeable on the issue!
He says he would like to not have to read my mind so much. 
He knows about my “routines” I do each day (which I learned from FlyLady) and he thinks it’s a neat idea (well, blow me over with a feather).
So we agreed that we’d set down on specific thing each night for him to do consistantly through the week (i.e. Monday – clean both porches, Tuesday – Thoroughly clean the ferret cage, etc.), and then have a blank note page where I’d write down one more thing that I “want” him to do that evening for me.
Two things per night may not sound like a lot to some folks, but for me it sounds like heaven – especially with how receptive to the idea my hubby was. I think he likes routines and knowing what is expected. Why, oh why didn’t I ever think of this before??
And truly, there is not much around the house that he needs to do… just a few regular things per week, and the occassional thing that I find that I can not accomplish on my own. He works so hard at his outside job and he’s really faithful to “his” yardwork (cutting grass, raking, etc.)….so just his agreeing to have a routine chart like mine makes me feel wonderful!
We’ve also created a “household rules” page with about 10 simple rules that we both agreed on, such as “If you use it, put it back” and “Shoes must go in the front closet” and “Dishes go immediately into the dishwasher” and even “Hang clothes up immediately or place in the hamper only”. These rules apply to both of us.
Sooo…
Our first official “2 routines per night” for Kevin starts tomorrow- and I already have something written in the blank for him to do. And as faithful as my husband is when he promises something, I’m excited to see how well this routine (i.e. “honey-do”) chart works out over the next few weeks.
How awesome it is to know that the last bit of paint trim will finally be completed. Finally. I can’t wait!
(Now if only I could figure out how to add an every-evening-backrub-and-foot massage in as well, without wasting my one nightly blank….ahhh…) 
