Little Jack's CornerThe Life & Times of Jack-Evan and Family

I live in mid-South Carolina.  Over the past week, a huge rash of tornadoes have come through our area and destroyed many, many homes (luckily our neighborhood wasn’t affected).  Damages are estimated at over $30,000,000 in many places.  (Insurance companies are having a major headache right now!!)

Outside the tornadoes, we’ve also had a lot of rain lately.  I don’t mind – we need the rain (badly) and had been in drought conditions for a long time.  Rain is good.   Especially this kind of rain!  I don’t believe I’ve ever seen it rain so much as it has been lately.  All of the pollen is getting a good washin’ as well.  And the breeze?  Ahhhhhh… the March winds have been heavenly.  Closed houses bug me, so each morning the first thing I do is open all of the windows in the house (we have screens).  The winds whipping through all of the trees surrounding our house, combined with the clanging of our wind chimes make for a very, very relaxing experience.  I’ve been wanting a Corinthian wind chime for years now, but am afraid that I’d spend all of my time snoozing by the living room window if I added those beautiful sounds to the mix!

So… as for the rains.  Today was no exception.  From early this morning, we could tell by the sky that another storm was eminent later today.  Luckily I was able to get in some good quality time in our outdoor patio before the rains set in!  When we purchased our home in March of 2006 (wow, I can’t believe it’s been 2 years already…), the patio out in the far part of the backyard was nothing more than a covered parking shelter.  It had no walls and no flooring – just the wooden bone structure and a nice roof.   The week before our wedding, before I moved in with my husband, Kevin’s father was down staying at the house for a week.  To my (wonderful) delight, he converted the covered shelter into a concrete floored, wooden walled, screened in patio!!  He also purchased two large, hefty homemade picnic tables for the patio as well.  We love it tremendously! 

As some of you may recall, we don’t use credit – so most of the time our “wants” get neglected for long periods of time.  And in the past, decorating our patio has officially been a “want”.   This past weekend we did splurge some though – while at a local thrift store, we found the most perfect light pine couch with the most comfortable khaki & white cushions ever.  And it only cost $15!   Today was my first day making it outdoors to test out the new couch. 

And what a perfect time it was.  The winds were blowing strong, the pine trees were “talking” in the back from all of the wind, the doggies were snoozing a few feet away (it was PupPup’s 1 year old birthday so he deserved to rest too), hubby was at work, the clouds were threatening rain (but hadn’t dropped anything yet), and I was alone (gloriously alone) with my newest edition of Redbook. 

Next year, we’ll be having Little Jack’s first birthday party in this patio!  I spent much of my time today thinking over decorations, the menu, planning seating, thinking about the cake I’d cook him and the cute shots we’d get with him smushing his cake all over his face.   (I have a tendency to get far ahead of myself sometimes…he’s not even born yet!) 

Before dozing off, I snapped some shots of “my view” with my camera phone.  One shot turned out pretty ironic – it caught my pregnant belly, beside Redbook’s caption of “Love your body!!”.   Hehe…

Ahhhh….

My View from the Couch – Lovely Pine Trees All Around

Happy Birthday, Sweet PupPup!

Gabby – Queen of the Picnic Tables

“Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast
into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?” ~ Matthew 6:30

My mom and dad have a tiny pond in the front of their house (it use to hold Goldfish when I lived back at home).  When we first put in the pond years ago, I scattered wildflower seeds about the area around it.  They required no care whatsoever (we are not very good gardeners anyway!).  Most of the seedlings only sprouted for two or three years, then died out - but there were some orange ones in the bunch that sprouted abundantly year after year.  Many years they would shoot more than 6 feet tall with gorgeous orange flowers and green leafy stalks swaying in the summer breeze. 

All with no care from their human earthly inhabitants. 

I captured this little fellow one day in hopes of forever remembering the
happiness that  these flower stalks brought us each time
we walked out the door of the house.

This weekend was kinda like eating an emotional sandwhich – two pieces of sad bread, with a bite of happy meat in the middle. 

Earlier this week, my mom’s brother’s wife’s brother passed away.   My parents had known him for decades since Aunt Linda has been married to my mom’s brother since the 1960s, therefore attending the funeral this past Thursday was something we knew we’d be doing automatically.  I don’t really enjoy funerals (who does?), so it was a sad day Thursday.

Then yesterday, we had our slice of “happy”.  Kevin’s sister and her husband (DeAnna & Charlie) are traveling medical professionals and have been assigned in Florida for 13 weeks.  So, on their way down to their new apartment they stopped by our home yesterday afternoon about 2:00 pm and we invited them to stay the night.  It was very exciting for me!  I love having company over!  Unfortunately, since Kevin’s family lives in New York, the last time anyone was down here in South Carolina was when we married in June 2006.  It was great to have them visit, show them around town and for them to see what we’ve accomplished with our house (we had just purchased it right before we married and didn’t even have furnture back then!).  After taking them out to eat, we spent about 3 hours at the fabulous RiverWalk area near our Capital walking around and having a grand ol’ time.  Our night was topped off with a stop at our city’s most popular little Friday night ice cream shops.  I felt like crying when they had to leave for Florida this morning at 7:30!  Kevin and I both hate goodbyes, so it’s hard every time we part from someone in his family because we have to go through all the hugs and goodbye’ing all over again.

 Then, this morning, our weekend was topped off by some terrible news.  We had just finished breakfast at this little restaurant with Mom and Dad – and mom looked at dad and asked if he was ready to tell me.

Tell me what??

My Aunt Anne (Dad’s sister in law) had passed away Friday morning.  They didn’t tell me and Kevin yesterday because they wanted us to enjoy our visit with Charlie and DeAnna.

Aunt Anne was married to my Uncle George – Dad’s oldest brother.  Two years ago, we experienced heartache when Uncle George died after an operation for brain cancer.   And now Aunt Anne is gone.  Her memorial service is scheduled for 2:00 pm tomorrow afternoon.

It’s funny – I was just thinking during the funeral on Thursday about how death usually “comes in threes” and was praying that nothing else would happen.  And now here is the 2nd death in a week.  Springtime has never been good for our family – almost every person we know who has passed away has died in the spring (March, April, or May).

Hopefully this is the end of sad times!

Ok.  You never know what you’ll learn while hopping about on the internet.

(And if you’re faint at heart…or queasy in stomach…please do not read ahead, ladies!)

…………

Never in my entire 25 years of existance have I heard of the phenomenom of Male Lactation.  If I would have (before the days of Google) I would have laughed it off as an urban legend. 

But the other day, I was happily bouncing along through baby blogs and discovered an article regarding fathers who breastfeed. (Needless to say, my tummy didn’t feel very well upon first thought.)

So, in true 20something hip chick form, I sped over to google and typed in those imfamous words Male Lactation.

And up popped 234,000 results.

Goodness Gracious!!!  I mean, I want Kevin to be a hands-on Daddy, but I think I’d be taking it too far if I requested him to do nipple duty as well.  Not to mention that would probably just freak him out completely.  I had a hard time at first convincing him to let ME breastfeed the baby.  He was truly against it until I convinced him otherwise.  (Honestly, this was a case where I wouldn’t take “no way” for an answer). 

I think somewhere in his 24 year old male brain he struggled with the thought of watching his child hooked on to his wife in such a fashion.  It makes me giggle to think of what he’d say if I told him about THIS! 

For the ultra curious at heart (like me!), here is what Wikipedia had to say about it….

The phenomenon of male lactation in humans has become more common in recent years due to the use of medications that stimulate a man’s mammary glands. Though boys and men have nipples, many are unaware that they also have mammary glands. In ordinary circumstances, there is so little mammary tissue that it is unnoticeable; if the male breasts develop visibly, the condition is called gynecomastia. Under the appropriate hormonal stimulus—that nature provides to human females when they become pregnant and give birth—the mammary glands of human males can also produce milk. The volume of milk produced is low relative to that of a lactating female. Male lactation has, in some cases, commenced without hormonal treatments as well.[citation needed] Newborn baby boys (and girls) can occasionally produce milk because of the intense hormones involved in their mother’s pregnancy and the hours of childbirth; this is called witch’s milk.

Male lactation is most commonly caused by hormonal treatments given to men suffering from prostate cancer. Female hormones are used to slow the production of cancerous prostate tissue, but the same hormones also stimulate the mammary glands. Male-to-female transsexuals may also produce milk owing to the hormones they take to reshape their bodies. It can occasionally be a side-effect of antipsychotic medication. Extreme stress combined with demanding physical activity and a shortage of food has also been known to cause male lactation. The phenomenon was first studied in survivors of the liberated Nazi concentration camps after World War II. Some American POWs returning from the Korean and Vietnam Wars also experienced male lactation.

The phenomenon of male lactation occurs in some non-human species, notably the Dayak fruit bat (Dyacopterus spadiceus), and the lactating males may assist in the nursing of their infants. In addition, male goats are known to lactate on occasion….

Last Friday, March 7, the Ultimate Blog Party (running through this Friday, March 14) started at www.5MinutesforMom.com – and gave hundreds of blogging women all over the world the chance to jump in and cyberparty at their own blog.  The only requirement to put your link up on their website’s Mr. Linky is to have your own starting party post introducing people with your blog.  

(Here is our original party post, if you haven’t visited yet!)

In the true party spirit though, I’ve done a few extra party posts just for fun!  (See here and here).

Today, I’m posting my favorite (and easiest) chocolate cake recipe.   I found it at Recipezaar.com and it quickly became a family favorite (and my husband doesn’t normally even like chocolate!).  Being a gestational diabetic, I haven’t made sugar loaded dessert in a few months – but as soon as the baby arrives it’s coming back as a dessert staple!  (View the original recipe here).

If you read my One Pot Complete Chicken Meal post, you’ll know that I am a fan of the pump & dump cooking method.  What is that? you might ask…. That is where something is so easy that only minimum effort is required to cook something delicious – just a few quick dumps of some special ingredients (sometimes you measure, sometimes you don’t).

This recipe is really that simple as well!  It comes out beautifully, with a creamy frosting, yummy moist inner cake, and a rich chocolate pudden sauce at the bottom. I usually put it in a blue willow teacup, top with whipped cream, and serve.

And it’s done all in the crock pot, leaving you time to take care of more important things.

CHOCOLATE CAKE IN A CROCK POT

Ingredients

* Notes:  I use self-rising and it works fine – just omit the baking powder and salt.  Any type of milk will also work, and I typically use (reconstituted) powdered.

1 cup all-purpose flour 
1/2 cup sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup soymilk
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup cocoa
1 1/2 cups hot water

Directions:

Spray crock pot insert with cooking spray.
Mix flour, 1/2 cup sugar, 2 tbsp cocoa, baking powder, and salt together in bowl.
Stir in milk, oil, and vanilla until smooth.
Pour batter into crock pot insert.
Mix brown sugar and remaining 1/4 cup cocoa in bowl (make sure there are no big lumps). Sprinkle over batter.
Pour hot water over contents of crockpot – DO NOT STIR!
Cook on high for 2 hours or until toothpick inserted in centre comes out clean. Remove lid of crock pot and let stand for 30 minutes.
Spoon cake into bowls. Spoon sauce over top.
Great on its own; also yummy with whipped cream or vanilla ice cream.

I’ve written quite a few posts lately about my travails on becoming a good wife over the past 2 years of marriage (such as here…and here…and here…oh, and here too!).  Then yesterday, I noticed via my sitemeter statistics that someone found my blog through the google search phrase “do husbands like praise?”.

It caught me off guard for a moment because I sometimes assume all women know the answer to this!   Being a good wife is something I’ve thought about a lot for years (even before meeting Kevin), and I’ve read a lot of wonderful books on the subject of being a Godly wife.  Before marriage, many things were still in the realm of the unknown to me.  But as I’ve gained some experience with dealing with a husband of my own, I’ve learned that there are many points in these books that do ring true.

One of the most simplest – yet most profound - advice topics these books touch upon is to praise your husband. 

Compliment them!  Adore them!  Let them know they are your hero!   Yes, my google friend, husband love praise.

Far too many of us wives fail at that.  And we fail miserably!  What is a typical wife known for?  Nagging.  That’s right – nagging.  Over the years, the house wife has become the butt of many jokes concerning being a “nagger”.  There is even a saying that goes “If Momma ain’t happy, no one is.”

Isn’t that sad?  Even the Bible has a comical say in it!

“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.” ~ Prov. 21:9

A male, being first made in the image of God, also has the innate desire for the things that God desires – to be admired, praised, loved, and adored.  The unfortunate curse on Eve (Genesis 3:16) during the fall of man, pits female against male, hindering woman’s God-given nature to compliment and complete her mate and instead replaces it with an unnatural sin-fallen desire to rule him instead (wanting to rule someone is at the backbone of all nagging).

We’re even reminded of this numerous times in the new testament.  In Ephesians 5:22 and Colassians 3:18, Paul has to remind us wives to respect our husbands.  And again, in 1 Peter 3:1, the apostle Peter himself has to remind us.   Notice he doesn’t have to remind us to love them!  Because of man’s fall and Eve’s curse, we must be continually reminded to respect him. 

The King James Version causes controversy because today’s feminist women bristle at the choice of translated word used – submit.  Don’t let that scare you!  The first century church leaders are not telling us to be a door mat to men’s wishes.  Nor are they telling us to live as slaves to males!  Wives were created as equal help meets for husbands, equal in every way – and numerous Biblical stories back this up.  The commands are there as a reminder for us women to watch our tongues, attitudes, and choice of words when dealing with our husbands.  Remember, because of the fall our sinful nature desires strongly to RULE and CONQUER our husbands!  What kind of “helpmeet” are we if we are constantly trying to rule him by coersion????   Not a very good one!

You can think of these verses more in the way of saying “Hey wives!  Don’t you remember Eve’s curse?  Jesus died to end your imprisonment to that curse!  Stop nagging your husband and respect him instead – don’t treat him like a child!  Your marriage will be a lot better and it will honor Christ and God’s plan for marriage.”

Look at the choice words for these particular verses as translated into various other Bible versions -

Wives are to

• Submit
• Be subject to
• Understand
• Support
• Adapt
• Put him first
• Obey
• Follow the lead of

Isn’t this what Jesus himself did?  “Took on the form of a servant“?  Having a servant’s heart and respecting someone highly is the ultimate compliment.

NOTE:  Before you bristle, I’ll add that there are plenty of verses that tell husbands how they should treat their wives as well – and they go hand in hand.  But we’re not talking about the husband’s actions (we’re not responsible for him before God)…we’re talking about US.  Just us.  All of us in the little wives club.

As we leave our oldest and wisest self-help book (the Bible), let’s look again at modern day wife-focused books.  All of them repeat in some form the reminder that husbands need praise, adoration, and (most of all) respect.

And receiving praise, adoration, and respect from his wife is the ultimate in a man’s books – even if he doesn’t admit it aloud to you!  This is what builds a man’s confidence.  This is what causes men to jump off cliffs for love.  This is the secret.  This is what wins wars, folks.  The adoration and praise of a good woman.

So why don’t more of us practice it?  All too often we begin to treat our men like children, nagging about everything because you “know he’ll forget”.   And yet nagging never helps.  Instead of him wanting to now jump through hoops to help us, he retreats into his shell, becomes bitter, and backs out of intimate companionship.  No one likes to be controlled or manipulated!  I’ve seen it happen with relatives, witnessed it between my own mother and father, and I’ve experienced it with my own husband.  Yet the nagging continues!  Each and every time we open our mouths to nag and coerce, we fall right back into the “curse of Eve” and our sinful (yet sometimes subconcious!) desire to RULE over our husbands.  This will never work if you want a truly healthy marriage.

Some of the best compliments (not to mention best nights) I’ve recieved from my own husband has come shortly after a burst of praise from me to him.  The subtle shift in his actions, the calming of his nerves, and the light that brightens in his eyes with each small moment of praise proves to me that this works wonders with my husband and our marriage.  Therefore, I make a concious effort to verbally praise my husband a lot – to him, privately, and in public to others.  And I make sure he can tell I’m very sincere as well.  (Praise given just to be manipulative is no good at all!!  It must be sincere!!)

Praise I often give to my own husband:

• “Thank you so much for always remembering to take out the trash.  It truly relieves my mind not to worry about it. ” (And he’s honestly never missed a day!!)
• “Thank you for going to work each day for our family!  It shows how much you truly care about me.” (He’s hasn’t missed a day of work in over 2 years and never, ever complains in the morning)
• “You are my hero!  I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life!”
• “Thank you dumping the dirt out of your pants after work!  I truly appreciate it!”
• “Your face is so wonderful..I just love looking at it” (I love to stroke his little beard when I say this…)
• “You have the most wonderful shoulders…I LOVE big manly shoulders!” (I say that a lot!!!)
• “I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have disrespected you like that.”
• “I’m so happy to be with you!”
• “You are such a terrific provider.”
• “You work so very hard all day, but I miss you so much!”
• “I love when you open the door for me…thank you.” (I haven’t opened a door for myself in nearly 3 years since meeting him)
• “I’m so glad I have you around here to do (such&such) for me!  I truly appreciate you!”  (Said after he paints or mows the lawn or something)

I also modify his private praise to tell others.  I’d much rather praise my husband in front of others than to complain about him!!!!!  And I have a feeling he likes it too.  It’s also been my policy over the past year to never, ever spill his secrets or complain about my husband in public.  I’ve slipped up horribly in the past and only ended up embarrassing myself and my poor, sweet Kevin.  He’s a good man, truly, and didn’t deserve me degrading him because of my own feelings.  If you show people that a man’s own wife doesn’t respect him, what do you think that does for their personal view of him?! 

Praising, adoring, and respecting your husbands doesn’t have to always come with words either.  It’s about having a complete attitude adjustment.  You respect your husband when you keep his secrets (as his wife, remember you are the guardian of his soul and his deepest thoughts).  You praise him when you hug him tightly to welcome him home after any sort of separation (such as after a day at work).  You adore him when your attitudes reflect how much you appreciate his body, mannerisms, intellect, spiritual growth, or accomplishments. 

Thank you’s should be given out sincerely and liberally.  Don’t fall into a trap of “well, it’s his JOB to do that so why should I?”   You’d be surprised at how wonderful a simple “thank you” feels to a man – no matter what they’ve just done.  Even if it’s just a “thank you for loving me today!”. 

A sincere, heartfelt smile -without words- will do wonders for his heart as well.

Now, in closing, I’m not saying this will create a perfect marriage.  But I am saying that sincere, routine praise and adoration for your husband does work beautifully in building a healthy, loving marriage.   Kevin and I went through a terrible, terrible period of physical separation (with me back at my parents, and he back with his mom) and near divorce for over a week just prior to our 1 year anniversary, so we’ve known our share of marital troubles already.  It was after this period that God changed my own heart and attitudes towards how I was acting towards my guy – and replaced my nagging words and preconceived expectations with many more words of praise for the wonderful husband I had reconciled with.  And because of my attitude change and focus on what I needed to do to better myself, our marriage has thrived (baby Jack is one obvious evidence of that!!).

So go ahead, ladies.  Praise away at that big hunk of man you said “I Do!” to.   Deep down his soul will thank you for it.

…or… “Sleepin’ Away, Later Today”

 I found myself chatting about my day on my doctor’s post and decided to split it into a separate post instead.  I kinda like to keep the doctor visit posts more “official” in case some other preggy lady is out there reading about my experiences and tryin’ to learn something.

After the Doctor’s Visit

Back at home (it was about 10:30 am), we picked up dad and headed to a local favorite little “hole in the wall” for breakfast.  After eating, mom and I went to Goody’s and Kato’s just for the heck of it.  I am SO ready to get back into regular clothes!   I about cried with joy while waltzing through the new spring fashions of Goody’s misses department.  Of course I’m not one for buying a new clothes (my friends call me cheap…I just say I’m very frugal!) and usually do my shopping at consignment / thrift stores – but every now and then the desire to buy buy buy buy buy everything new in sight will hit me hard.  Mom calls it a wild hair up my youknowhat.  I guess going for 8 months wearing nothing more than a plain rotation of 5 pregnancy shirts and 3 preggy pants will do that to a lady, huh.     You’ll be happy to know though that I walked out of two stores without spending a dime, even though the temptation was there.

By the end of our walk through Katos though, I was hurtin’.  We had planned on going to the Dollar Tree, but my energy was draining fast and my back was starting to ache.  So we headed back to my parents house.  We’re having a funeral tomorrow at our church (my mom’s brother’s wife’s brother passed) and my dad works the sound system and I do all of the secretarial type computer stuff – so we all headed out to the church at that time to get the funeral service bulletins approved by the son and get last minute details straitened out.  I let my dad take care of everything, and hunkered down in the nursery (in their big comfy rocker) to read Anne of Green Gables (it was a children’s illustrated abridged version).  I finished the whole book while we were there and then fell asleep!  We had brought my dad’s yorkie Priss with us, so in the corner of my mind all I kept hearing was the sounds of her little dog tags jangling as she ran up and down the hall following my dad everywhere.  It was pretty funny to listen to.

We made it back home about 3:00 pm and I was completely worn out.  So I got cozy on mom’s couch and read the books of Amos, Joel, and Jonah (in the Bible).  By the time I was starting to go through Micah, I felt my energy completely die and I had to put the book down and snuggle up for a nap.   I was asleep within probably 20 seconds.   All I remember the rest of the evening was waking up around 5:30 to eat a chicken meal dad brought in from Church’s Chicken (a fast food restaurant down here), my hubby kissing me when he came over at 6:30 after work – and then American Idol start at 9:00. 

Thankfully I didn’t sleep through the American Idol results!  I wasn’t too surprised with Kristy Cook leaving tonight.  That countryfied version of 8 Days a Week was too much for even my redneck southern ears to bear.

After the results, Kev and I headed back home, fed the animals and now everything is quiet and peaceful.

Uh….well, everything except for the 5 puppies who are currently screaming in our bedroom and Gabby (our chow) who is pawing profusely at the door to be let out and away from her noisy children.   Even my parrot is getting in on the commotion now!!!

I guess I better go check on them.   Night!