Where We’re Gonna Be When We Turn 25

…And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we’re gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won’t be coming back
No more hanging out cause we’re on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don’t have another day
Cause we’re moving on and we can’t slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound…

One of the most popular graduation songs today is a song called “Graduation” by an artist called Vitamin C. The song was released on July 4, 2000.

My Senior Pic, taken when I was 17 During the summer of 2000, I was 17 years old and getting ready to begin my own senior year in high school. And life couldn’t be any worse. That summer, was when I stepped from being a child into being an adult. My first experience with death had just occured with my Grandma (mom’s mom) passing away on May 29, 2000 and the first guy I had ever loved being killed in a motorcycle accident in early June. Very close friendships that I thought would last a lifetime also completely vanished. Over the next 12 months I would also see the loss of more friendships due to a certain terrible situation, the death of my Granny and Uncle, the death of both of my childhood dogs, graduation from the only school I’d known for 13 years, and the realization that my college reservation at my private christian school of choice would have to be cancelled (2 weeks before classes started) due to lack of funds. It would be another year before I actually headed on to (a local) college.

When this song hit the airwaves, it really struck a chord with me. I could no more imagine being 25 than I could imagine living on the moon!

Me and Granny. I was about 13 or 14 At that point in life, I had no future. I had no life, and I had no sense of self. The person who I thought I was for the first 17 years of my life no longer existed, and I had to rethink my whole reality. I had to become, it seemed, someone else. It was sort of like being locked up in a happy little bubble, and suddenly having it pop from around you. And I’m not just talking about the normal adolescent “graduating from high school” fears. I’m talking about the newfound knowledge of sudden death and immortality, realization that monetary needs are not always met, betrayal, unmet desires, a loss of childhood innocence, and a complete change in life as I knew it.

Isn’t it funny how when we’re caught up in the present tense, we fail to look forward to our own future? The “future” always seems like something unattainable. When we think of “the future” we tend to visualize things in a Back-To-The-Future kinda way: far off, distant, and unrelated to the real world. At least that’s the way it seemed to me.

But, I’ve discovered, just like those insurance commercials say –

Life comes at you very fast.

And now, look, here it is already March of 2008. The grief and bitterness cloud that hung over my life during the first half of this new millennium has completely vanished. In fact, it’s been gone since the day Kevin and I met in August of 2005. The fact that I’ve known my (now) husband for nearly 3 years already amazes me and shows once again how fast life does go by.

If someone would have looked at me in May, 2004 and predicted that in May of 2008 my first child would be due, I would have laughed in their face! But here I am, big bellied, with a navel that’s ready to pop.

In fact, when I look back on my life during just the past 8 years, I see many milestones that have passed without me really realizing it.
My first new car

First “real-world” job
First car purchase (a new SUV in May, 2004) – no cosigner needed!
First professional promotion
Graduation from college with 2 degrees
Watching my 3 little cousins (who are like sisters to me) grow up before my eyes
My 21st birthday
Lasik Eye Surgery
Meeting my (now) husband
Falling in love
Getting engaged (Oct. 1, 2005)
Purchasing our first home (and having a first mortgage!)
Marriage!
A wonderful honeymoon
Riding a horse through the mountains
Seeing Niagra Falls for the first time
Many trips to New York to meet / visit my “new family” (Kevin’s side)
Getting to be an “Aunt” for the first time (Kevin’s brother’s kids)
Learning to manage a household
Learning to wash my own clothes (yeh, yeh, that was a biggie for me!)
Navigating a very, very rough spot in marriage
Seeing my online business (started in 2002) succeed!
Surviving a first layoff
Watching many people I grew up with become “parents”
Learning of my own first pregnancy
Witnessing the birth of puppies for the first time
….and now, anticipation of becoming a first time mommy in less than 9 weeks.

All of these wonderful events were in the “future” of the girl who I once was at 17 years of age when the Vitamin C song first hit the airwaves. Only I didn’t realize it at the time because my eyes were too clouded with temporary grief. I was completely blind to the possibilities of what was down the road.

December 1st, 2007, was my 25th birthday. It was a Saturday. Kevin and I, along with our new digital camcorder, headed off to Harmon’s Christmas Tree farm for our 2nd Annual “Cutting of the Green” as we have termed it. We spent hours driving through the acres and acres of trees, and walking around looking for the “Perfect Christmas Tree”. Afterwards, the tree is tied to our car roof, and we head inside their “barn” store to pick out our yearly christmas ornament. It’s something we love doing together, and plan on continuing as a tradition every year. That evening, my parents had some cake and hotdogs at their house for a few family members to enjoy. And right there on my cake, the big numbers 25 screamed at me – and the realization set in.

Where was I in life? Twenty five years old, a stay-at-home wife, with a home of our own, and just starting my 5th month of pregnancy.

All day long, the one line from that graduation song…the line that says “Where we’re gonna be when we turn 25″… had been running through my head. I never thought I’d reach this point – it seemed so far away. Yet, when I look back on it, I marvel at how fast the years have passed.

Knowing where I’m at, at 25, is a lot easier than it was to wonder at 17 where I’ll be! I have finally reached those infamous numbers, and I am completely happy. I have the most amazing husband in the universe, a terrific extended family (on both sides), darling pets, a wonderful 3 bedroom house in a semi-private location (only 1 neighbor beside us!), and a brand new baby on the way. I’m very blessed to be able to stay at home and not have to worry about “bringing in the money”. And our baby will be blessed by not having to spend his life in the care of others – he’ll have Mommy by his side, guiding him as he grows up day by day.

I use to think life didn’t pass fast enough. Now I think it goes by too fast. I am fully aware that the days I am living in right now are the days that I’ll look back on – and want to return to – when I am a senior citizen. These are definately “the good ol’ days”. I’m living them right now. Life is so short, and in the course of time, our human existance is nothing more than a “vapor in the wind”. When bad times happen, yes, they hurt deeply and cause scars – but in the long run, I’ve learned that the good times – the times we should smile about and tuck away in our memories – always outnumber the bad times. Don’t let them pass you by – what’s the use in rushing time? Never take life for granted.

So anyway…before I get all weepy and emotional, I’ll leave you with the lyrics of a song that really digs deep into my heart when I hear it. It’s a country song by Kenny Chesney that talks about how fast life truly passes by.

Don’t Blink

I turned on the evening news
Saw a old man being interviewed
Turning a hundred and two today
Asked him what’s the secret to life
He looked up from his old pipe
Laughed and said “All I can say is…

“Don’t blink
Just like that you’re six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you’re twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don’t blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads

Next thing you know your “better half”
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you’re praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don’t blink

I was glued to my tv when it looked like he looked at me and said
“Best start putting first things first.”
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can’t flip it over and start again
Take every breathe God gives you for what it’s worth

So I’ve been tryin’ ta slow it down
I’ve been tryin’ ta take it in
In this here today, gone tomorrow world we’re livin’ inNaw, don’t blink, don’t blink
Life Goes Faster Than You Think
Don’t Blink…