Uhg. The picture here is one that I’ve been seeing floating around on the internet for 7 years now like a overblown urban legand. No one really knows if its real or a photoshopped version of someone’s feelings. Whatever it is, right now I feel like I can completely relate to the “gut feeling” this photo is trying to portray to us.
You know, pregnancy is an every day occurance. Millions of women have babies all over the world each week. Yet for the woman in her first pregnancy, it feels like so strange! To think that there is a living little thing inside of me (what we always referred to as a parasite in science) – and to think that I’m 100% responsible for this being’s care for the rest of my life (especially the first 18 years) is a huge weight. It’s one of the most exhillerating things that has ever occured to me, yet, at the same time, one of the weirdest. So far the pregnancy has been good. I was very lucky in that I never had morning sickness. Low blood pressure and tiredness has been my only plague so far so I’ve had the chance to feel “normal” while being anything BUT.
I’ve been feeling him move since mid-November, but it’s January 10 that will stick out in my mind. That day, I was sitting in our living room chair watching Boomerang (yeh, yeh…I’m practicing for motherhood 
) when I looked down and — low & behold — there seemed to be snakes slitering under my belly skin.
Or at least, that’s what it looked like to me!
I was in complete awe for the next 3 minutes as I watched this baby inside of me appear to be trying to kick himself out of his walled in container. It was the first time he had done so to the point where it was visible, and it was amazing that it could just happen (it seemed) right out of the blue. After my initial shock wore off, I tried to get a video of it with my phone, but every time I would hold the camera up he would stop. Kevin would have loved to seen it!
Ever since then, he has been kicking like that and every time he does, I still marvel at it. I marvel at the beauty of it all and how God has designed our female bodies to work so hard, without any concious thought from us, at producing another living being. It completely amazes me. In some ways, I still feel like a child myself – I know that I could not will myself to create such a miraculous thing as a baby – yet here I am, 3 months shy of giving birth to someone who will one day experience the same things we all do… happiness, fear, love, loneliness, anger, hunger…another human who will have their own thoughts, intellect, opinions (some of which will probably be far different from my own!).
I feel like I am passing into a “club” all by itself. A club of women who have crossed over into another form of life. A club of Mothers. It makes me appreciate my own mother so much more!
Related Posts
Tags: Feelings, Initial Shock, Living Room, Low Blood Pressure, Morning Sickness, motherhood, pregnancy, Rest Of My Life, Tiredness, Urban Legand
Hey Lisa,
Sounds like all is going well…hope the next few months goes by even better…. I work with pregnant women all day and I see all their many emotions they go through and how excited they are so I wish you the very best! Keep me updated. xo
Hey Melissa! Thanks for the post
…It’s good to hear from you!